Clinging to you in the pouring rain while we jumped along with the crowd for Nas and his friend Mos Def and I tugged at your shirt so excitedly 'He's in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy bae!' and you laughed.
You tried to sneak a bottle of expensive red wine into the festival and they caught you and said that you were the first one they had ever ever caught with a bottle of wine, and you weren't even embarrassed but roaring with laughter and draped in necklaces and begging me not to sit down for even one song when my legs almost gave out for glorious Sylvan Esso.
We shrieked with glee during Kygo's pyrotechnics and whirled and spun in the mud and fought our way back through the crowd of teenagers swaying with joints in their mouths away from the coveted first rows so we could dance more freely in the back.
I was so focused on you I almost didn't see a tall lady all in black join us for one twirl and then stride away and you clasped my hands 'Love, that was St.Vincent!'
And I didn't know who that was which made you laugh all over again.
Every single one of our favorite bands played that year and I cried during Florence and the Machine on your shoulders and we both gasped afterwards that we would have to allow the other to marry her if she ever asked one of us.
And on my birthday you made me a cake out of tater tots with candles in it and gave me a card with the tickets to the festival inside it. My love who was always pouring out.
Sometimes I get so stuck at that black door where I have to face losing parts of you- those hands, the piercing blue eyes with crows feet from smiling; that I forget for a little time what's most true.
That you and me are going all the way to the end of love, all the way to forever and this is an uncomfortable chapter in the big Book you loved to refer to life as. Uncomfortable for me because I want back the moments I could bury my face in your arms in the cold rain and the way you bit your bottom lip when you were being mischievous.
It's so frustrating- this thin/thick veil. I'm either reaching through it with both hands outstretched or pacing outside it all unsure.
But then you come close and we can run and dance even more.