#osfed

MOST RECENT

Breakfast is 2 multigrain waffles, a mini chocolate chip muffin, a banana, some peanut butter, and chocolate milk. I’m having a rough morning. My boss told me last minute that I don’t need to come in to work today and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t do well when I’m not distracted. I’m having horrible body image. I keep body checking and trying to add up calories in my head. I’m trying to be patient because I understand that in order to be successful in recovery, I need to not be so scared of food and body changes. I don’t want my self acceptance to be that fragile. But at the same time, this is so hard. I’m really struggling right now and cold use some positivity.

What a beautiful day! 🌞 😎 shame we're all stuck in offices 😞

Lunch today seems a bit lighter than usual but I didn't make the couscous so I don't know how many calories are in it which makes me anxious (it was left over from yesterday's post-football barbeque, which was great fun!) Hope everyone's day is bright and cheerful 😃

#depression #anxiety #edrecovery #osfed #ednos #ednosrecovery #orthorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #mentalhealth

DONT REPORT JUST BLOCK
TREAT THIS AS YOUR TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Clyde took my camera and took a pic of us kissing and it's honestly the cutest thing ever. I never take pics like that cuz I'm afraid the relationship will end and I'll come across that picture all sad but I just don't see this relationship ending any time soon
#anorexia #ana #anamia #bulimia #ednos #osfed #dontreportjustblock #ednosrecovery
I overate bad yesterday. B/p a couple times but never got it fully out. I definitely gained and feel squishy. I'm trying not to think about it cuz I know I can burn it off this week but I just feel pathetic. It's like I'll never recover
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Have a lovely day ✌🏼🤘🏼

Possible tw:
So I just had the biggest binge I think I’ve ever had and feel so beyond awful I can’t purge but does anyone have any tricks to easy the pain in my stomach I’m having a bath to try and help but idk why I just did that. Got my last psych appt before I go away and I’m somehow hoping she “cures” me before I go. All I wanted at the start of this year was to beat my anxiety and depression before Europe and here I am now going to Europe with the worst depression I’ve ever had and an eating disorder lol it’s been a great year. I always swore I’d never get an ed I’ve watched them destroy so many lives close to me but then my brain just decided that yeah that seems like a great idea. So this should be interesting... how do people recover I genuinely want to know. Hope everyone is having an okay day xx

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🎉🎂😍🏆😍🎂🎉
When I turned 40 last month, I realized what an accomplishment that actually was for me. Despite knowing deep down in my heart that I'm definitely living well into my hundreds, a lot of my doctors, family, and friends didn't think I'd make it this far.
I decided after my birthday that I didn't want to just celebrate for a week or even a month. I want to celebrate my entire 40th year of Life. That was why I bought this special cupcake at the store today.
I'm still alive. I'm still breathing. My heart's still beating. I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I'm still changing.
I'm 40 and I'm winning at Life.
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#rawrecovery
#winning
#lifeisgood

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❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤
you can totally do it
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#rawrecovery
#motivation
#youarenotalone

...
I finally followed through with my lunch/dinner/comfort food that I'd bought at the store earlier.
Frozen french fries with shredded cheddar cheese deliciously burnt to perfection and topped with a mix of ranch dressing and sour cream.
My stomach is still severely swollen. Eating causes excessive pain. More pain than my usual everyday pain. I cannot believe I didn't investigate those Krispy Kreme ingredients well enough! I'm usually SO careful. OVERLY careful. Obsessively careful. And now I'm paying the price.
Temporarily going back to oatmeal seems actually like a smart move. But I bought a special safe ingredients cupcake for my dessert tonight...
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#rawrecovery
#foodismedicine
#chronicpain

Recovery tastes like homemade chocolate cake!!! 😁❤️👍🏻 ( the piece was much bigger, I just ate most of it! ) 😂😂#bodypositivity #bodypositive #osfed #eatingdisorder #intuitiveeating

Sunday 24th June // So... you may or may not have noticed that a short while back I stopped using the hashtag #edrecovery - and this is why. Super nervous to post this for a variety of reasons but please remember that this is just my personal feelings on the topic and I'd also LOVE to have some recommendations of instas of people recovering from EDs at larger sizes ❤️
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#bodypositive #recovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness #ednos #osfed #fatphobia

You know you live a miserable life when this is your only meal for the day ;-;

(PTW)
🌈So the past 2 weeks have been extremely up and down. I've had the odd good day and then really bad days. It was my birthday a few days ago and I went out for a meal with my friends (which was really nice) but I started feeling really guilty about eating so much, then yesterday I ate a lot more than normal and I purged around mid morning because I'd had a doughnut and my friend kinda guessed because we were out in a group and I'd quickly ran off to the toilets so I feel really bad, then I had to go home and eat a meal and I tried purging again but all I could do was dry heave and gag. I ended up feeling so bad that I self harmed all over both of my forearms. Today was really warm but I had no choice but to wear a long netted sleeved top, I also have a DofE overnight hiking expedition tomorrow and I'm terrified because I don't think my friends realise how much I struggle with my eating and I don't want them to see my self harm. I'm just extremely anxious about it but I'm trying to hang on and get through it.🌈
#OSFED #EDNOS #anxiety #depression #selfharm #suicide #suicidalthoughts #anxietywarrior #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalillnessrecovary #recovary #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderrecovary #mentalhealthdiary

I've taken my "Before" pics but I am not brave enough (yet) to post them. I struggle severely with self image and even at my lowest weight I never would post pictures of my body. This picture here will remind me to not only stay healthy for myself but also for the ones that I love 💜

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