I bring you this shitty edit to vent. Ok. So. I’ve been away for a while. Continue reading if you want to hear me bitch for a bit. I know. I haven’t been active. And if you’re not in any of the squads im in, I’ve basically been dead these past few weeks. And I don’t really have an explanation. I’ve moved back home for the summer. And that’s been screwing me up. Back to being misgenderer and deadnamed for a few months. Back to family drama. I haven’t spoken to my father in months and we have a lot to unpack. Plus my sister and nephew are moving back so. That’s gonna be fun. Plus. I have no friends here. Because I’m an asshole. Like. Seriously. I’m so fucking lonely. It hurts. I have nothing to do but work and sleep. I have maybe two friends back home and neither one ever talks to me. I always initiate the conversation. I don’t know what I’ve done to fuck up my social life this bad. I’m 18 and I spent my Friday buying lawn equipment with my mother. I never had many friends in high school but now? Now the person I consider my best friend barely talks to me and I know im not her best friend. I just hurt. So much. It’s gotten bad. I had to stop driving for a bit because one of those damn intrusive thoughts happened and I almost drove off of a bridge. I’ve got no one. So. Sorry I haven’t been posting. I just. I don’t know what to do anymore. My whole summer is gonna be like this. And I don’t know if I can survive this.