It's been almost two years since I took this photo, that unintentionally changed my life. I took it because of a sun-blister on my lip, with no mirror, I squinted at my little GoPro screen to try to see it. I'd been away from all I knew for a few weeks on the most significant journey of my life. What I didn't realize was that I'd captured in a single frame the bothersome but beautifully rich depths of a changing self. When I saw it, I broke down quietly in my tent. I saw the face of a strong young man trying to understand, struggling to do so, but courageous enough to try. I had lost my grandfather months prior, I'd played my junior season of collegiate lacrosse with a broken hand and parted ways with a wonderful person I greatly cared about. I was a shook version of myself and I ran away as far as I could, deep into the wilderness. I shed tear after tear as I gazed at the tiny screen. And one thought rang in my head like a war siren, "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." I can remember vividly in that moment realizing that my life had changed. That I would fly in new places and in new ways. I had to follow my heart elsewhere. It's embarrassing to say, embarrassing to post on social media but this is me and I am honest. The next year was the most depressing and lonesome year of my life as I struggled to understand my identity and my purpose. My friends didn't really get what happened to me, neither did my family, and that's OK. What was important was that I was tearing down the walls inside, breaking in and filling it with new light. I filled whole notebooks with streams of consciousness and begged my way back to the wilderness. I lay restless at night, writing and reading. I stared at the ceiling a lot, I didn't tell anyone about this change, that was ok too. What followed was the most special year of life. I developed a relationship with struggle in the wildernesss and learned to bet on my heart. I learned if it feels right, push things out of the way and go for it. I'm grateful for this photo, it will always be a part of who I am, a soul as deep as the oceans, as gentle as still-seas and as courageously violent as a great storm.