Motherhood post 2: feeding your bebeh
Keeping a tiny human growing beautifully is hard flippen work. Before Ed was born I had delusions about how easy breastfeeding would be and how I would definitely not use a dummy / bottle / etc. Well, on day 2 of Ed’s life we succumbed to the dummy (lol) and after about 3 weeks we ended up having to offer the odd small formula top-up when our little guy wasn’t growing properly. To say I was devastated was an understatement - how could my body who had grown this beautiful boy not make enough milk to help him grow. I tried everything and was ready to snap at the next person who told me I just needed to do “lots of skin to skin” or try fenugreek or try just being calm. Shut. Up. It was hard, but to quote @lucillestr breastfeeding isn’t all relaxed moms walking around feeding babies in slings 🤣 I reached a turning point when my friend @tasia_donaldson said “fed is best” and I stopped crying every time I gave Ed a top up bottle and seeing it as some kind of abject failure on my part. Because fed really is best, it matters only that your baby gets food, how and where from are just matters of semantics. Everyone has a different journey and a different story. Judgment is never okay. There are people who just don’t want to breastfeed at all and that’s perfect for them and their babies too.
On my own journey, in recent weeks, I have started producing more milk. Ironically, it seems that formula was not the devil I had originally envisaged it to be and that the top ups have managed to save my breastfeeding journey.
So here is #brelfie to celebrate three months of breastfeeding through the blocked ducts, milk blisters, low supply, days and nights of pumping, wetting the mattress when ed slept through the night, crying when I dropped 1ml of breastmilk, crying when I bottlefed, laughing when I bottlefed and ultimately reaching my peace on my own journey. I hope everyone finds their own peace on their own journey ✌️✊ (Ps hope my account doesn’t get blocked for all this nudity🙄) #normalizebreastfeeding #breastfeeding #breastfeedingjourney #brelfie #treeoflife #mombod #motherhood #instablog #postpartum #fedisbest