I have been a little quiet lately as I have been concentrating on training, family and myself. The last 3 days, I have been mentally pushing through eating my meals and feeling like a whale. Yes, I know I am not. (Pic Right: last night) Waking up this morning and preparing my meal before we hit the beach and all I could think about was
1) I am not even hungry yet I need to eat this. "How the hell will I eat this!" (pic left -mince, broccoli, cashews, avo and toast) or last night's dinner sitting there with the plate in front of me and
2) feeling and looking like a whale in a kini.
Somedays it is a battle and having that confrontation with the old person inside my head, is hard yet it has become easier. My mindset has become stronger and the goal I have set myself and NOT wanting to go back to the old me that I once was. The skinny, low self esteem, lack of self confidence and I hate myself me.
The thoughts do go away very quickly and pushing through these and letting myself know how far I have come is an accomplishment. When looking in the mirror, I once was disillusioned by what I saw. Now, Even though I feel pike a whale, I can say I do not look like one. I am enjoying my strong, curvy body. As for food it is fuel, and to grow these muscles. 💪

Even though somedays may be a battle (usually around that PMS time😁), and though I have let go of what was behind me, the ED will always be with me but easier as time goes on.
A few people have asked me recently about food, bodyfat and my ED. I read something last week and it was fucking spot on. In short, remember, you ARE fucking more than your body fat levels and it is okay to put on a little extra weight, yes even bodyfat! Forget the macros and start with enjoying the food again. Stop thinking you are a failure. It messes with your head.
The last 3 weeks, have been an eye opener. The Laws of Attraction, has given me signs and it has been incredible. It has made me feel calmer, less stressed and I guess the start of feeling free.😊

Another late #tbt. The best ideas are ones on the whim and when it came down to setting up a guestbook, scrap the book!!! Can there be any better experience for guests to sign some drag slicks and can there be any better keepsake for us?? 😁🏎 Do steal this idea. 👍
Ok the real message is this: when you say I do you're also saying goodbye to the person standing in front of you. On that moment on that day on that second you finish saying it. Because marriage isn't about staying with each other and being the same until death. Marriage is a business partnership that evolves, each partner understanding, compromising, criticizing, lifting the other. From that day, both husband and wife say goodbye to who they are, to embrace the changes the arguements the heartbreaks the sacrifices the hard times the sinking ship the plane in flames the crumbling house for the growth. To then one day, one day when they have made it, to say hello again, to who they have become. Seeing their own skin is tenfold more storied than if they'd trekked life alone. To say hello at the top. ☝️🔑💍

...and all of a sudden the #awakening happened and...she woke up. #nevertoolate #lettinggo #lettinggod #blessed #motivated #movingforward #nolookingback

Next chapter is just beginning! #nolookingback

More often than not, we are the main source of our own unhappiness. We look around and see what others have and begin to feel like we should have the same, before we take the time to understand ourselves and our needs. The belief that more is better is a recipe for stress and frustration, yet it is programmed into us by society and our environment. Do you really need to do and obtain everything that you're serking or are you doing it, subconsciously, to impress your peers?

To the man who’s taught me how to live a life with reckless abandon and focus solely on furthering the kingdom of God.
The one who showed me to radically chase my purpose by word and deed.
Tonight you get the respect you deserve.
Tonight you tell your story.
Tonight that coliseum gets to see you for the mighty warrior I have always known you too be.
Behind closed doors or on stage you never change.
Tonight the real race begins.
@mpezzi1 Thankyou for being a true example of this verse. “Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours. Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither. Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit].”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭9:24-27‬ ‭AMPC..
‬‬ #nolookingback

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