You never wondered why I ask 'how are you feeling' or 'are you happy' so often? Let me explain. After being hurt so many times, after knowing how hard it is to hide pain from everyone else, I started thinking about others, not only about myself. Since I cared about you so much, I always wondered: what if... what if he cries himself to sleep? What if there are problems I don't know about? What if there are times he feels unwanted or alone? Knowing how it all feels, I wanted to be the one who at least tries to help out. I wanted you to trust me, to see that the world is not all that bad.
The sad part is... it took me so long to realize that I am the one who needs to be asked that. How could you sleep at night knowing I cry until I get too tired? How could you not worry when I constantly repeated how I hated myself and how alone I am? How could you not give me straight answers when you knew that I am an over thinker who will worry herself too much? How could you just stand there and not even take my hand or hug me when I felt so stressful? And how could you annoyingly keep asking me about the part of my life that I didn't want to talk about, even when you saw how I am tearing up... I fought alone so long, I needed someone to encourage me to not give up. And after I thought you are the one I will be able to trust one day, you disappeared.