Mum said something else in her parting letter to me. She wrote, for reasons I won't go into, "Try not to let that make you appear too aloof." Whoa! Slow down, Mumsie. Having a personal letter to cherish can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. It means you can always go back to those things that comfort you but those things you are not so keen on kinda stick in your head for like ever. A bit like 'speak properly' (shiiiiit), 'don't swear' (double shiiiiit) and don't wear a white bra with black knickers (she didn’t write that but she may as well have done coz she said it enough). So trying not to appear up myself has always stuck with me since then (aged 16) and I have consciously tried to behave accordingly whenever I've met somebody new. I don't want no-one thinking I is a princess innit. But in the end you have no control over the first impression you make on someone, no matter how hard you try.
Historically my track record is not so good. My mouth naturally turns down like a totes mizmog. Yes, s'true, I was born with resting biatch face which is a kinda problem. I remember people (pikeys 😃 - that's irony, kids) would regularly shout at me in yer actual British, "Cheer up, love! It might never 'appen!" Well, unfortunately quite a lotta shit did happen to me and that's why I knew I wanted to tell my story from the very beginning and not keep it all scarily swimming inside me like the Loch Ness monster. So, yeah, I'm keeping it real coz I've got shit to say about shit stuff innit. For example, yesterday I addressed my housebomb so that it will 'keep' for at least a week after this final surgery but tummy had other ideas and threw up my breakfast and my lunch. The pain, the pain. Just keeping it real here. So here my homegirl, no princess for hanging with a queen (Latifah). It's Monie Love. She down to earth.
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