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#neverletgoofhope

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I'm realizing I have too much faith in people. Yes, me. I think about who gets hurt if I trust people too blindly. I think of who it is I'm leaving behind. I think about everyone I love and is now or ever has been in my care...yeah I've trusted too much and have had too much faith in people. I'm not sorry I loved as much as I did. I'm just sorry sometimes I trust and put faith in people as much as I do. Its not just about me anymore. The amazing irony is I am more trusting because I want to teach them that the world is a loving and a trusting place. Sometimes that lesson isn't such a great one. #liveandlearn #truelesson #iteachthemtoprotecttheirworld #neverletgoofhope #wewillsurvive

A benefit of visiting my friend's church this morning is that Uncle Pepper gets to see this lil Salt Shaker aka Skylar!!:) #unclepepper #unclephil #niece #neverletgoofhope

So I did this today ❤ In honor of our 3 angel babies ❤
#hope #Godspromises #neverletgoofhope #miscarriagetattoo

Tomorrow's the BIG day. Less than 12 hours to go! Does this look familiar? I'll be wearing mine tomorrow - to and from surgery anyway - if you have one, will you wear it too? #neverletgoofhope #nevergiveuphope

I've been completely restricted on working out for the past 2 weeks because of a running incident. It's nice to see that I'm still decently strong. This song is a doozy. I was only able to get to 56 seconds. However, that'll change soon. It feels good to be able to kind of work out again. #TransformAmericaWith5Words #NeverLetGoOfHope #YoureStrongerThanYouKnow #WallsHaveDoorsPushThrough #IAmProudToBeASailor

MOST RECENT

Workout completed! Omg thank goodness it’s Saturday!! Super grateful!! Thank GOD I am me! Super thankful for being me LOL. Blessed for who GOD made me! #blessed #thankful #praiseGod #jesuslover #happysaturday #bethetrueyou #neverletgoofhope #embraceyou #bethankful #showlove #faithisrealpower

I’ve been slacking a lot lately & ive distances myself from the one person who has never left my side, even on my bad days, I’ve never felt the kind of love that you give/show me, you’re beyond amazing & I should grab hold of you before it’s too late & someone else sees what I see. I love you Mathew, thank you for everything ❤️ #husband #myhero #neverletgoofhope #hopdontothegoodthings @bighorn1027

"I'm not without hope. And that's where we have to go when we feel that barren place. We have to not let go of hope."
#minutemessage #isaiah54 #barrenness #dryplace #difficulties #hardtimes #difficulttimes #iwishmylifewasbetter #hope #peace #trust #hopeintheLord #trustintheLord #neverletgoofhope

Tomorrow's the BIG day. Less than 12 hours to go! Does this look familiar? I'll be wearing mine tomorrow - to and from surgery anyway - if you have one, will you wear it too? #neverletgoofhope #nevergiveuphope

So I did this today ❤ In honor of our 3 angel babies ❤
#hope #Godspromises #neverletgoofhope #miscarriagetattoo

~ When the world says Give Up.....
Hope whispers try once more ~

Such a Beautiful Post I had to #repost it.......
Baby dust to you all 😇💫 #baby #pregnancy #miracles #fertility #infertility #awareness #ivf #fertilityjourney #spreadthelove #fertilitysisters #strength #determination #positivevibes #miscarriage #babydust #neverletgoofhope #rainbowbaby 🌈

Have you seen this image before? A little girl (somewhere in the Middle East. I forget..) watched her mom die, because of war... And she #soothed herself by drawing this. Chalk outline... My heart breaks for her & for all that have lost their loved ones to war & violence. 💗 Please #pray with me for these #littleones & for all that have been touched by violence... Please #visualize #ourworld at #peace#loveistheway #loveistheanswer #vibratehigher #neverletgoofhope #nonviolence #nonviolentcommunication #nomorewar #maypeaceprevailonearth #mayallbeingsbefreefromsuffering #mayallbeingseverywherebehappyandfree #spreadlove #spreadpeace #spreadcompassion #spreadlight #oneness

Thank you immensely to the artist of this little dandelion rock. I just found it while out walking my dog in Kenmore Park and it was just the pick-me-up I needed. Dandelions have a special meaning to me as I loved making wishes on them as a child. Now as an adult they symbolize hope for the future. I'm going to have to hold on to this one 😄 #theburgrocks #paintedrock #LoveFXBG #dandelion #neverletgoofhope #crescentmoon @purevidabracelets @humanityandhope #hope #hopeanchorsmysoul #Hebrews619 ⚓️ #rockart #FXBG #FredericksburgVA

Omg guys!! I got so damn emotional watching it! 😭😭😭😭😭😭💓,it was amazing,everyone In it did amazing,and those speechless where so powerful and beautiful😭😭💓,I got Goosebumps just watching it and hearing them sing! I tried to hold in the tears but it got to me 😭😭😭😔. And when Ariana sang Over the Rainbow oh damn I cried 😭😭 ugh 😭😭😭😭😔💓 let's just said I cried probably the whole time😭 I Love Ariana so Much,and everyone who was involved in this project to help Manchester 💓💓 this was so damn Beautiful. #oneloveManchester#together#strong#neverletgooflove#neverletgoofhope#neverletgoofGod#justinbieber#arianagrande#forourAngels💓💓#flyhigh#manchesterunited#manchesterunited#strongertogether

Looking at my fridge every morning brings me so much *joy* 💕 Reminds me of some of my favorite people, places, quotes, and memories. And the cute babies and art work from some special kiddos just make me smile!! #AuntieLife #fridge #pictures #babies #Favoritepeople #Favoriteplaces #Favoritequotes #RefridgeratorArt #Joy #Happiness #Reminders #NeverLetGoOfHope

It's June 1st, 2017. It's been on my heart and the tip of my tongue for years now to share what I know about #peace and #happiness and how it applies to #success. So many of our #guardians failed to achieve these things in their lifetime and therefore could not pass it down to us - simple things like the power of #eyecontact, the #power of your #promises, #trust, and #kindness. I left a stable job in 2015 to persue this yearning and in search of direction I struggled but I #neverletgoofhope. I opened a business for money and it never really took off. At the beginning of this year I closed it. A few days ago here in May 2017, I opened up another website that I pay for out of my own pocket just to share #lessons I've learned throughout observing my own life and the lives of all of you. It's only been a few days but it feels so right to share my mind freely. This morning, June 1st, as I traveled by car, a man, and what looked to be his mother, pulled up next to me. He rolled down his window and said, "Good morning! This is hard to say... first I want to say that God loves you." I said thank you. Nonchalantly, he went on to say, "God thinks you'd be a really great teacher." This is a man I have never met before, with tan skin, dark and parted slicked hair, and a forest green collared shirt. His mother never looked up, her gaze remained through her glasses at her phone. This has been the greatest and most blatantly obvious #confirmation I could have ever received. The light turned green and we drove along side of each other and he asked me if I was a #teacher. And I'll tell you guys that I am not a teacher in the traditional sense. I don't have a classroom and I don't have a curriculum, though I know I have taught many of you. Some of you have come to me for #clarity and #guidance. Others have come to me in search of their own #selflove and how to create their own regenerating storage of happiness. And that's whats offered on my new #blog. I just had to share! Thank y'all! #Godbless #linkinthebio

I'm realizing I have too much faith in people. Yes, me. I think about who gets hurt if I trust people too blindly. I think of who it is I'm leaving behind. I think about everyone I love and is now or ever has been in my care...yeah I've trusted too much and have had too much faith in people. I'm not sorry I loved as much as I did. I'm just sorry sometimes I trust and put faith in people as much as I do. Its not just about me anymore. The amazing irony is I am more trusting because I want to teach them that the world is a loving and a trusting place. Sometimes that lesson isn't such a great one. #liveandlearn #truelesson #iteachthemtoprotecttheirworld #neverletgoofhope #wewillsurvive

and this to shall pass..... first step in healing is admitting there is a problem, right? I have been fighting it for a few weeks now, trying to crawl out of the depression, sending out silent unheard screams for help. Everyone has their own issues and problems and I feel guilty asking for help or letting them worry about me. Luckily I know it is temporary, I had a horrible hormonal imbalance the last few weeks, first period in months, anemia, migrains and depression. Just keep swimming, this will pass. I will be ok. It happens.
#depressionsucks #itsoktotalkaboutit #thiswillpass #mentalillnessawareness #neverletgoofhope

I've struggle through it all. Mental abuse. Physical abuse. Forced conversion therapy. Sexually abused as a kid. Wrongfully diagnosed as a kid. Had my adoption agency life about medical history. Ripped from a loving family. Thrown to the streets at 18.... look at me now. HOME OWNER ACTIVIST MODEL ARTIST WORK 4 JOB TOTTAL VOLINTEER WEEKLY AT EVENTS AND SUPPORT COMMUNITIES I BELIVE IN. And have time for the gym. 22 is just the beginning for me. YES IM 22. And I've recovered meth addicts (not one) and help hiv/ aid men get out of bed and get the help. I will change his world. #strongman #overcomeabuse #neverletgoofhope #thereishelp #illbeyourbecon #sexualabusesurvivor #mentalabusesurvivor #physicalabusesurvivor #survivor #hivactivist #leathermen #leatheractivist #leatherboy #leatherpup #polyamorous #becon #nevergiveup #imhereforyou #lifetimeofabuse #anyonecandoit

Just leaving this here.... a lot of wonderful women I know are struggling. If God cares about the lowliest birds, the sparrow, how much more does he care for you, his beloved child who was made in his image.
#infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

I can't believe how amazing I have been feeling lately, and a lot of things in my life have been looking up, may have a part time job to add to my full time job, I have a new car, getting the motivation to get up and go and get my body back into shape, I have the best friends anyone can ask for, parents are proud of me, and found someone who makes me smile 247☺😘 life is actually really great... #neverbackdown #nevergiveup #neverregretanything #loveyourself #beautiful #gym #fitness #chickswholift #girlswholift #eatinghealthy #fitchicks #gymlife #lifeslookingup #feelingamazing #neverletyourselfdown #fitspo #fitnessgirl #fitnessinspiration #fitnessbody #muscles #musclesaresexy #neverletgoofyourdream #neverletgoofhope

Update: Surgery is BOOKED! August 7th, 2017 we will be traveling to St. Louis for a consultation with Dr. yeung on the 8th. Surgery will be first thing on August 9th. We will go back 2 weeks later for another surgery where he will remove the Gortex that he will use in surgery #1 to hopefully prevent adhesions from forming again.
I'm not gonna lie - I was really discouraged when they told me it would likely be that for out. That makes 2017 a wash for babies. But then on Sunday in church, in a moment that could only be divine, because I would never have come up with this in my own selfishness.. I realized that me having a baby isn't just about me & my life. It is more importantly about another human's life. A life that God also has a very specific time & plan & purpose for. And all the sudden I had complete peace.
I don't know what this year will bring. I don't know what the outcome of surgery will be. But realizing that this is bigger than me put it all in perspective. For this second in time anyway!!! #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

So this quote popped up in my facebook feed today. While I generally try to not get my feelings hurt about comments fertile people make, for some reason this SUPER rubbed me the wrong way.
It made me feel like I was "less than" because I haven't gotten pregnant yet. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong that was causing God to not bless us with a child, or that these other people were "more worthy". I'm sure that the person that posted this was probably thinking that it was so great that these couples have been open to having children at a young age - and that is SUCH a good thing, I get it.
But it still hit a nerve - and I know there are women out there that feel the same way.
So, sweet infertile friend, while I'm in my feelings tonight, I want to remind you - and remind myself, that you are more than enough, you are worthy, and you are not doing anything to "cause" this.
There was a story I saw not to long ago about the dog &a elephant being pregnant together. The short of it was that the dog got pregnant several times over while the elephant was pregnant for a reaaaallllly long time. The dog mocked the elephant for it, and the elephant told the dog that when her baby elephant was born, it was going to shake the world.
God has such a beautiful story to make out of our ashes!!! Don't lose hope my friend!!! Press on! Keep fighting the fight!!!! #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

So .... that time when you did HCG injections post peak to help with hormones & PMS & still had a positive pregnancy test on P+16 ..... so you go get a blood draw done and it's negative. The amount of dreaming a girl's heart can do in the 24 hours while waiting on those blood results....Happy 30th birthday to me!!! I'm ok. I really am. I knew it would have been a miracle if it was a true positive. I actually feel half way ridiculous for going in for the blood draw to begin with 😳. In the false positives, and the disappointment, this is what I know is true ... God is still good. His faithfulness and goodness is unwavering. "But those who trust(wait/hope) in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint" “ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” #thisisinfertility #thisiswhatinfertilitylookslike #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

This Thanksgiving, I found myself googling "how to be thankful through infertility". Most of the blogs I found were several years one and were written by bloggers that had already "crossed over". All I could think was, "of course it's easy to be thankful when you get to look back and know you overcame it." But how can you be thankful for infertility when you are stuck right dab in the middle of it?
This time last year I got through by telling myself that next year would be my turn. But here we are. And no baby. No positive pregnancy test. While I can't exactly say that I'm thankful for infertility, they are are definitely a lot of this that I am thankful for through out all of it. 🍁🍁🍂🍂🍁🍁🍂🍂🍁🍁🍂 🍂I'm thankful for the husband God blessed me with to walk with me through out this. 🍂I'm thankful for the relationships I have gained that I would never have had without going through infertility. 🍁I'm thankful for my job - a job that I was meant to do - a job that I love. I would have never ever become an FCP if I hadn't started charting to figure out our fertility. Now, I get to help other women walk through this. 🍁because of my job, I have gotten to be a part of 4 women's pregnant successes! 🍂I also get to help others women feel better by uncovering the root causes of their hormonal problems. 🍂I'm thankful for a wonderful doctor. He is absolutely phenomenal. 🍁I'm thankful for my surgery. I'm thankful that through that we were given answers. Without that surgery we would have never had a chance to get pregnant. 🍁I'm thankful for LDN & HCG. They help keep my crazy hormones under control. 🍂I'm thankful that we sold our house so that when we do have a baby I can stay home. 🍁🍁🍂🍂 🍁🍁🍂🍂🍁🍁 so while I haven't let myself dream about "next year" yet, I know that even if next year comes, and I'm still waiting, I'll have a growing list of things that I'm thankful for that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't been given this cross to bear. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to say I'm grateful for infertility .... but I am grateful for the things that have grown from it!!!

#doodling today. What the world needs now ❤️💛💚💙💜 #hope #neverletgoofhope

I totally stole this from someone on FB. It feels so weird to not be doing anything fertility related. I haven't even touched my chart 😳🙀. I probably need to ..... 🙄. It has just been so freeing to just LIVE! This phrase was such a gentle reminder to me that God always has my best interests in mind. I constantly have been giving our infertility over to him this week, "not my will, but yours!" because I know that while I can't see through this infertility fog, but God sees my whole story & has something better in store than I could have asked for!! #takingabreak #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8 #ttcnaturally
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

My sweet sister sent me this today. And I just KNOW there are other women out there that need encouragement today! You, my sweet friend, you are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are strong. You are brave. And you are WORTHY. Do not lose your worth in the midst of your infertility. And most importantly. ... Jesus loves you & is with you. He has not forsaken you. Whether you are at the beginning of your infertility battle, In the middle of it, taking a break - or even struggling through something not Fertility related. God is bigger than your struggle. He is bigger than your battle. If his eye is on the sparrow, how much more is he watching out for you!!! #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8 #ttcnaturally
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

This was my status 6 years ago, praying for my future husband ... 5 years ago I was planning a trip home with my (then) boyfriend for him to ask my dad if he could marry me. I needed this today. I don't what God's plan is for my life - but he does hear my prayers, and he has not forsaken me! So much can change in just one year. #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8 #ttcnaturally
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

I have a confession. Today, after I got over the initial shock that we wouldn't be pursing treatment this cycle due to the cost increase.. I felt relief. I almost felt free. Like a burden had been lifted off me. I know that I wouldn't have chosen to take a break on my own. But when I realized that what I was feeling was relief, I realized that God knew I needed this break. I am tired. My soul is weary. I need a break. I need to be able to go for a run and not worry that it's going to affect ovulation. I need to be able to have s💃🏼x with my husband because I want to, and not because my chart says to, or because we just spent x amount of dollars on fertility treatments and we need to in order for it to not be a waste. And in the same breath that I feel relief, I feel guilt because I wonder if I'm giving up when we have really only just gotten started. And by just getting started - I mean almost 2 years of creighton and 1 surgery 10 months ago, but only 4 months of actual fertility treatments. And then the tears start because I wonder if I am giving up on our miracle. I Just keep on reminding myself that Jesus is bigger than my infertility. Jesus is bigger than the costs involved. Jesus is bigger than my hopes and dreams. Jesus knows my pain. He knows my fears. And He has not forsaken me... ... Just late night musings from a girl at 1am that can't sleep 🙁. #infertility #neverletgoofhope #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #pcos #ttcwithpcos #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcnaturally #ttcnapro #naprotechnology #lufs #ttccommunity #forthischildihaveprayed #thewaiting #1in8 #ttcnaturally
#godisgreaterthaninfertility #waitingforababy #prayingforbabytoots

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