Meet my virtual self—we’ll call him Andy Instaface Gram. He’s an intellectual, a womanizer, a daring rule breaker and a serious surrealism aficionado who spends his free time writing for Condé Nast publications and reviewing the most luxurious lifestyle offerings for Robb Report. He drinks fine wines—Petrus, Sassicaia, Mouton Rothschild and the like. He goes on ritzy vacations, receives unreasonably generous grants from non-governmental conglomerates, and has an infinite amount of money and no responsibilities. When an abnormally interesting episode in his life occurs, he’s quick to document it. His IG account is a tool of self-promotion—one in which we sanitizes and glamorizes his activities, then packages it for consumption by gawkers. “That’s him,” he’s usually what they whisper about. He's chauffeured in Maybachs and he’s very laidback, but you can see him anywhere a day in the life as he can touch down and take off the same night. If you ever get a chance to meet him, either in virtual or in face-to-face reality, don’t @ me. Ha!