And of course the sea side reminded us as ever of our little boy. I think the sea has been the biggest help to me in the grieving process, a part of the analogy for grief that really resonated about waves crashing in on you and gradually becoming calmer waters, a place where I could feel small in a life where everything felt so big, a reminder of the power of nature, and a place where I could and always will feel close to Oliver.
This photo, with the sand a bit too wet to fully hold his name sums up a lot of how I'm feeling at the moment. The very joyous arrival of his little sister Emily bringing us lots of happiness, but for some providing a neat fit and a problem solved. Emily is not an Oliver replacement.
Her being here, and so present, makes Oliver seem that little bit further away, and that's a tough balance that I have to work at, alongside the many other balances any mother of a new baby has to find.
For me, part of that balance is always taking my little boy to the sea with me, writing his name in the sand across the world.
Love you lots Oliver James xxx
#parentingafterloss #namesinthesand #rainbowbaby #angelbaby