2010 vs 2015 vs 2017
Okay, so this is a little 'past my limits'. I've been obese my entire life. I didn't felt good in my own skin.. I tried to be a fat-activist at that time and I was really like "Beauty isn't just about being skinny!! It's also beautiful to be big!! Why do people have so much HATE to my type/fat people?" - I was so frustrated at that time. But on the other hand: Being obese in that degree isn't ANY FUN. At all.
Every time I should change cloth I was out of breath. I couldn't catch up with my friends without being out of breath and sweating. Walking around was making me out of breath. Doing regular stuff such as cleaning was just so hard on me. I felt TRAPPED in my body... I couldn't wear the cloth I wanted because I didn't fit into it and I refused to buy cloth from +size stores. I was lazy and didn't wanted to do anything besides drawing, painting, hang out with friends (at home, at restaurants, cinemas- basically everything that didn't include walking or doing something active). I felt so bad. And no matter how much I wanted to be like "EFFF YOUR BEAUTY STANDARDS" I wasn't feeling good in my body. My health was bad; my knees hurt, my belly bottom was rotting, my spine was under much pressure, my feet was getting 'crushed'... That's not ideal or beautiful
I've written A LOT about how I started, stayed motivated and all that on IG 🤗
But I went waaaaay too far after reaching my goal (70kg). I went trough a 1 year long eating disorder which destroyed me... I was sooo afraid of food, gaining weight back again or just to eat like a regular person (no longer weight loss portion sizes). I was also afraid of the doctors would tell me that I needed to lose more weight before my belly skin removal. I wanted to go as low as possible before my surgery. I couldn't see at that point that I looked extremely sick and even though people always said to me "you're getting too skinny... It's not pretty" I didn't believe them. I was still VERY unhappy with myself. I was just soooo sloppy, I had NO ass what so ever, my thighs was jiggly and looked gross... _
I've gained 11-13kg after my surgery and couldn't be any happier ❤️