— tuesday , may 22nd
my life is a mess. a seemingly hopeless wreck. when I feel like life is going alright, something is definitely wrong. but maybe that’s just me over thinking. maybe things are getting better. maybe I am happy with who I am & the life im living? impossible. life isn’t going to treat me fairly is it. i miss so many people. including myself. i miss the person i was a couple years back. The one who would smile at strangers to make their day. The one who would always be willing to help. But I’ve changed. I’ve grown up. I’ve grown up in a world where people say one thing and mean another. The world where everything is so fake it’s hard to believe anything. Life just flies by and soon enough it’ll all be over. will I regret the life I chose to live. probably. with social media, the unreasonable image of the “perfect body” society thinks is right, drama, fake friends. It’s all adds up to a miserable life and I will regret letting those things bring me down. But it seems impossible to let go of everything and just live. I will never learn to love myself for who I am. I constantly compare myself to others. I’m not good enough. I never will be. my parents constantly fight. I can’t focus in school. So many thoughts run through my head. I get anxious and give up. I need to change. But no matter hard I try, I just can’t. My life is a mess.