from size 9 to size 4!! 😦 but am I happy?
soooo i wanna share something real with you guys, cuuuz you’re my friends 💛
i finally went shopping. & it was a crazy exciting & shocking experience for me.. 😅👀 i have a closet full of clothes that i’ve had for YEARS & at this point is about 2-3 sizes too big for me.. thx to spandex awesome ability to adapt to almost any environment lol, & my daily attire consisting of mostly that (#WINNING 😝), i get small reminders every so often when I actually put some real clothes on, just how much my body composition has progressively changed.. idk why but it hadn’t occurred to me that maaaybe i was no longer the same pants size..?! 🤔 lol in tops i’m now a S/XS but been wearing a M or L. i had no idea what size in jeans.. i had still been trying to wear my size 9 jeans.
many of you may kno that i always really loved my legs- strong & thick! & while they’re still strong, they’re most definitely no longer thick 😂😩.. & that’s been kind of hard to accept. come to find out, im officially down to a SIZE 4 in jeans, uhm- I haven’t been that small since MIDDLE SCHOOL! in all my clothes I would be uncomfortably tugging at them & pulling them up even with a belt, so self conscious like everything i owned was so unflattering, & showing my now chicken legs..😔
still unreal. i feel like it’s a dream. like i’ll wake up tomorrow & gained it all back.. what i see in the mirror now is so different from what i starred at with so much sadness, desperation & at times- disgust for so long. now i’m picking at my body for other reasons. my legs are too small, my shoulders too pointy.. ☹️🙄
it’s some heavy stuff guys.. it really is a wild journey, so many unique layers. i’m learning to love the girl looking back at me now, as she is.. I see why they/we/I say to love yourself every step of the way.. cuz it’s important to know that U R beautiful, & perfect no matter where in your journey you are.
so don’t look at me or anyone else like they got it all cuz of what they’ve achieved, or wha size jeans they wear, cuz you don’t know what they have gone through or may be going through mentally/emotionally.. 💪🏽✨
stay dope my loves!