I had a comment from one of my lovely snapfam on my last post, saying she loves the photo of me pictured perfectly sitting on my laptop with my done-up hair and Lex happily playing by my feet because she knows from snapchat what it was really like for me, creating the program; working from home with a baby in tow. It made me chuckle. So true. This is what I looked like and most of the time and trust me, there was sh*t everywhere in our living room and unwashed dishes in the kitchen. I’ve also had lots of people say, how did you do it? I have said it a thousand times but it was really hard. 4am alarms to work before Lex woke up at 6am, attempting to be a present mum when she was awake when I was thinking of the deadline I had in 2 hours and how the hell I was going to meet that, working like a crazy person when she went down for her nap, when ALL I wanted to do was crawl into bed and glue my eyes shut, working hard when all I really wanted was to tackle some of the laundry that was in our house so that Clay didn’t have to come home to an effing tornado, putting Lexi to bed and then staying awake to proofread yet another version of the program until 11pm. There was mum-guilt, there was wife-guilt, there was coach-guilt, there was friendship-guilt, I felt like I was letting so many people down and was a struggle. Mind you, I had a babysitter for Lex for 3 hours twice a week for about 4 months and that REALLY helped!
So, if you are comparing yourself to ME and the work I have done lately and it’s making you feel like sh*t, STOP! There are probably 50 things that YOU are good at that I am not. Did you know I’ve never baked a cake before (insert hanging my head in shame as a mum, what do I do at her first Bake Sale? Just “Bad Moms” it? What will Gwendolyn do to me!?) I also have a kick ass husband who is helpful in so many ways and always finds a way to put less pressure on me. Anyway, I’m sharing this because it’s real life and it’s easy to compare yourself to others when they don’t keep it real. So here is me, keeping it real. Hubby's tee, 2nd coffee, bags under eyes, paper everywhere, monitor somewhere, at 4am, hustling hard hoping to make a positive impact.