We all have a picture or an ugly phase we go through that we hate. Well, here is one of my least favorite pictures of me back in 11th grade. I was in cosmetology through the Jefferson County J.V.S. I was a dare devil when it came to my hair. I always volunteered for the crazy haircuts and hair colors. Even growing up I have always dealt with self hate, being shy, etc. but this was one of my darkest times. I was use to being no bigger than 125 and I reached 135 which looked huge in my eyes. I was depressed with low self esteem. I never got bullied in school unless bullying yourself counts. Every time I see this picture that my mom has on her wall I want to tear it up. I was always embarrassed and ashamed for people to see it or to remember me that way. When I asked my mom why do you keep that picture up you know I hate it. She said you’re my daughter and you're beautiful and I love you. You don't look big in that picture. It was a picture of me, my brother, and sister at one of my nephew’s birthday parties and my mom loves it. My mom always seen me as beautiful and someone special. I wish back then I could of seen me through my mommy's eyes. Even though I got back down to 125 my senior year and didn't go above 128 until so far through my pregnancy in 2007 I still thought I was fat, ugly, and hated everything about me. BUT now I finally do see myself the way my mom always did. Not because of my weight because in this second picture I weigh 135 too (just 2 clothes sizes smaller). Over the last almost 3 years not only have I been working on my health and fitness, but I've been working on myself mentally and emotionally which is where I needed my most work done. All because this crazy thing called Beachbody where a group of supportive people stuck together through this journey with you. It's hard to explain you just have to experience for yourself to believe it. That's the only way I believed in, it was to give it a try. It's not just a crazy diet or a miserable workout. My whole life has transformed. Something I could have fun with and finally stick to. The only thing that helps a person from the inside out.
#strongmomma #momfit #momfitnessjourney