So, this happened last night. I walked out from cleaning up from bath time to see this.
In that moment, my heart exploded. Feelings of love, joy, pride, just consumed me. I almost froze there just watching in amazement but I quickly ran for my phone because I had to capture this. Jaedyn was out there working out and Liam and Masen joined him after their bath. On their own.
Why did this moment mean so much? I am struggling. Lately, my anxiety is starting to take control. I was so afraid to put this out there because of what others may thing but this is real and if I can just reach out to one person to let them know they aren’t alone then my heart is happy.
Instead of really dialing into my nutrition and workouts to help me through a rough spot, I started to let them go a little bit. Taking bites off the kid’s plates, finding comfort in sweets, losing patience a little too quickly with my family, feeling like a panic attack may come on at any time. It started into a little downward spiral until last night. I realized I’m totally not focusing on the right things. Walking into that moment, I was flooded with emotions. If I am going to let anxiety & depression take over then I am giving up on me and I am giving up on my family. Absolutely NO WAY that’s happening. I fall off track too. I still have rough times. I am not perfect nor do I ever strive to be perfect. I have come way too far to let this bring me down. Not only have I benefited from all that this health and journey has brought me through and to but my family has too. They see me workout, they see me eat clean, they see me work hard, they see me have my super food shakes every day and when I walk into the office/workout space and see them doing this on their own without being asked because they want to…I can’t help but think to myself...look at what you are teaching them, look at the example you are setting for them. I don’t want to lose that. I want to grow stronger and get better every day. For me first and then my family. I'm not doing a great job at this but I know exactly what needs to be done and I feel incredibly blessed.