Here’s how grief brain works-flighty thoughts that jump quickly and often end up with a sad thought:
I’m at work down at the lab today with a specimen I’m handing over. While the lab tech is filling out her end of the paperwork, she sorta mumbles but asks me, “what’s this babies birthdate?” I tell her and stair at the medical record label...November 20th. November, what a great month to be born in. Does every person feel like their birth month is special? Whenever I hear November I think, “special”, it’s the month I was born. And 20th??wow...my birthday is almost here. Wait...I don’t want my birthday to come. It’s not going to be special. And then Glenn’s is right around the corner. Not as special as November but December is a good month. And then Logan’s birthday will come....but I don’t want to think about that right now....then I think, what will I get Glenn?, he deserves something special. And then I remember Glenn showing me something from his drawer a few months ago. It was like an old Coke emblem. I don’t really remember exactly what it was, or Logan giving him this, but he did. Glenn stood there crying showing it to me saying it was a birthday present recently. I’m trying to remember if it was last year or the year before.... but...maybe it’s Glenn’s favorite birthday present ever now? Logan knew he like old Coke stuff and had found it just for him. Logan didn’t usually buy presents but he had this time for his dad.
I feel my eyes swelling and about this same time I come to as the lab tech says, “you ok?” “Ya....” Of course I am. It’s just another thought in my day....