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Another one bites the dust😈 I had intended on sleeping in today but my body was like nahhhhh...so 5:45 it was. I went for a short run on the boardwalk, came home and whipped up these oatties and some coffee, now I'm going to the gym with mama to get a little lift in since cardio is doneeee, job interview at noon, and then my mom and I are getting our nails done! #GoodDayToHaveAGoodDay
Happy Sunday! ☀️☀️☀️

Night snack is a #pintparty of @benandjerrys half baked froyo! 😋🍦🍰🍮🍫🍪 this is one of my all time faves :) I'm a little scared after dinner but I pushed through 💪 can't change it now right?? Have a nice night angels!! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #fearfood #recoverywin

If you watched my story this morning, you know I had a little run in with cake last night 🙄👅👊🏼 Because when it looks this good how can you not?? 😋 If you're struggling with a fear food today or feel guilty for something you ate yesterday, watch my story for my tips 👀💪🏼 Then tell me below...what's one fear food you've challenged this week?? I wanna know all the happy things you're accomplishing! 🎉🎉

Gearing up to go on a date and feeling a surge of good, "I can't believe I got here" vibes. I'll probably repost/recaption this but suffice it to say that both this outfit and this life look a lot better with a healthy body. Grateful. #edfree #edfamily #edrecovery #edsurvivor #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #recover #realcovery #recoveryispossible #realrecovery #prorecovery #positiverecovery #edfighter #beatana #beatanorexia #recovery #eatingdisorder #foodisfuel #healthynotskinny #anorexianervosa #minniemaud #homeodynamictreatment

♡ Some days I wish I could go back in life. Not to change shit, just to feel a couple things twice 🌹 ➡miss my honey @recoveringbirdy so much 😭💘
{Who will take pics of me eating ice cream now? 😿}

На фотографии мой сегодняшний полдник после колледжа: сладкий пирожок с яблоком и чёрной смородиной из "яблоньки", за кадром остался кефир для детей местного производства "крепыш" и небольшой баранчик.
Было тревожно пробовать что-то новое, но выбора не было, начала чувствовать что сахар в крови падает, запихнула в себя банан и со всех ног побежала в "яблоньку".
На самом деле, это мой первый опыт, до этого я пробовала в "яблоньке" только чизкейк который отчим покупал мне ко дню рождения.
Эта кондитерская не нравится мне тем, что там не указывают калорийность.
Даже на тортах и десертах не всегда пишут, это меня как-то пугает, хотя маниакально как раньше калории я уже не считаю и питаюсь далеко не "правильно".
Помню было время когда взвешивала каждую ягодку и отруби калории из которых не усваиваются организмом, на завтрак ела только каши а на ужин творог, даже гречку на обед съедала "в первую очередь", только потом грудку, углеводы же!!1
Вот же глупая, все это по сути такая лабуда, организму без разницы откуда черпать энергию: из пирожка, или же из тазика овощей, и калорийность это такая условная вещь..
Мой вчерашний поход в кафе тому подтверждение, в первый раз когда я брала себе шоколадный десерт там был бисквит, вчера же его там не было, при том состав и калорийность остались теми же, какая-то мистика, получается.
На одном салате вообще написали заоблачную калорийность: на сто грамм две тысячи калорий.
Не, ну а че, удобно, зачем покупать нутризон за семьсот рублей, все эти нутридринки по заоблачным ценам?
Купил двести грамм салата за сорок рублей: и дёшево, и сердито)))0

And sometimes, you just need a cookie as big as your head ❤️--- I hate Monday's, but when your not stuck in the ED HEAD rat wheel-- everyday is better! Just remember-- recovery is like learning a new language, just because it feels impossible-- doesn't mean it is. The language exists-- even if you can't speak it yet... so go grow a pair and start learning 😜 simple. ✌️

Breakfast today is a double chocolate @flapjacked mighty muffin with Greek yogurt and mango! 😋🍦🍮🍑🍫🍩🎂🍰 first day back at home today 🙄 of course my mom forced me to stay out the room while she made all of this so I don't know how much it is and it's kind of a #fearfood 💪 also the hospital called and said I shouldn't go to school although my mom said I can as long as I take the elevator everywhere 👊 tbh I'm kind of scared for how people are going to act :( everyone was accepting the first time though so I'm hopeful 🙌 I'm also psyched to see my friends so hopefully that cheers me up a bit 👏 I'm off to school early now to meet with the nurse and schedule my late ap tests :) have a lovely day angels!! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #happypoints #recoverywin

Why yes, that is a peanut butter lover sticker on my laptop😉
Happy Monday people! New week, new start, new chance to go after whatever goals you may have. For me today kicks off my first full week of summer training. I am SO excited to put in the work this summer and come back in the fall better, faster, & stronger...all while FUELING MY BODY🚣🏼🏋🏼‍♀️🍴
What are your goals???


Afternoon snack while studying at a cafe is a questbar!

Pizza for tea tonight! (picture taken before it has been cooked obviously)My half is the one with ham on, as mum is vegetarian and I find plain pizza a bit boring 🍕alongside salad, onion rings and coleslaw 😊For dessert I have jelly and my beloved strawberry mousse 🍓and I will finish off my haribo 🍬

Toasting to Tuesday the best way I know how🥑❤️ This was just part of lunch...now I'm off to kill leg day🏋🏼‍♀️#toasttuesday

Well this was absolutely ducking incredible 😍 A bag of cappuccino flavoured popcorn alongside an actual cappuccino for the cappuccino queen post college 👍

Today has been such a rough day. I've pretty much cried throughout the entire day. The constantly developing stories on the atrocities happening just ten minutes from my house are sickening. I'm so incredibly angry at the world right now. The world we live in is so beautiful but a small minority of the people we share it with make it such an ugly place. All day I've felt as though I need to do something to help, it just felt so wrong going about my daily life whilst something so despicable is happening around the corner from me. I just don't understand the evil of some people. My heart goes out to all those affected, it's unthinkable what families must be going through right now. It goes to show that life is far far too short; too short for arguments, too short for hate, too short to miss out on opportunities and definitely far far too short to be wasted on a fucking eating disorder. I've decided I am going to gain some more weight, purposely, so that I can become a blood donor.

Love you all so much. Stay positive and stay safe. ☉❤ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #recovery #foodisfuel #realrecovery #beatana #prorecovery #anawho #edwarrior #eattobeat #beatanorexia #eatingdisorderrecovery #nourishtoflourish #edfamily #delicious #likeit #likesreturned #likesforlike #likelike #likes #coffeeaddict #coffee #vegan #recoverywin #snack
#motivated #motivation #minniemaud

I posted a new video comparing the Minnie Maud (now known as the Homeodynamic) recovery method to Freelee's recovery advice. Both are "alternative" recovery methods that refer to the Minnesota Starvation Experiment as scientific evidence to support their recommendations. I think both has their flaws and their good points which I discuss in the video. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy 😊🌸🌊

Lunch today is a tuna & avocado sandwich w/ kimchi & cutie oranges! 🍊 I had a really good talk with my boyfriend just now about how I feel like everything I do in life is just meaningless distractions I give myself so that I don't realize how pointless my life is. And he helped me constructively think through it to recognize that that's not true and that maybe that's just depression & anxiety talking because nothing I'm doing is pointless. I struggle a lot with feeling like it is but there's no magical answer out there that'll make me feel like I have a purpose because no mater what I'm doing, this feeling will follow so I need to worry less about finding my purpose and work more on realizing that I already have it.

Just got back after being out since 11 🙌🏻 woo go me. Me and Mum 'popped' to town to get food supplies and what not, and then Mum suggested we go for lunch as it was 12:30. So off we went to Frankie and Benny's. Me and Mum like to have tapas type meals so we ordered 6 starters and shared them with bread and dips. It was so yummy. Also got an unlimited refill FULL SUGAR drink and it didn't even phase me. It was so nice to be out without anxiety and just enjoy myself 😊For dessert I went and got 2 M&S sugar ring doughnuts 🍩 because the desserts in the restaurant were a bloody rip off. Now I am home snacking on some Halloween haribo, that I found going cheap, and relaxing in the sun ☀️ Actually nicer than the original! HAPPY HANNAH 😃

Morning snack! I love these, they're so yummy and I love how their packaged, I like the little spoon lol

You guys see this cookie? Anorexia told me not to eat this cookie, and that this cookie was going to make me fat and disgusting. But what happened? Ayleen ate this cookie anyways. She did what she wanted to do, and ate this cookie after she had her lunch. Why? Because Ayleen is worth more than that number on the scale and this cookie won't kill her. Don't be scared of eating what you want guys, I'm not morbidly obese after eating this. Don't worry about anything! Forget anorexia guys, you're all so strong and we'll all beat this demon together 🏋❤ just be determined.

#anawarrior #anamia #anarecovery #christian #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #anorexianervosa #bulimianervosa #miawarrior #anawho #minniemaud #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #recovery #recoverywin #vegetarian #vegan #vegansofig #anafighter #miafighter

Вот и в нашем городе "случилось" потепление, когда за окном светит солнышко то у меня сразу же улучшается настроение, ну а когда в тарелке лежат бабушкины блинчики с творогом щедро сдобренные сливочным маслицем и сметаной то я так вообще готова плясать от радости в присядочку :D
Сегодняшний день обещает быть тяжелым: мне предстоит сделать пятнадцать шпаргалок по музыкальной литературе, переписать в тетрадь несколько конспектов и четыре часа как минимум уделить специальности.
Завтра я буду сдавать общее фортепиано, ии..к нему тоже нужно как следует подготовиться, порой я начинаю нервничать и злиться на себя от того что избрала профессию подобного рода, ведь для того чтобы быть музыкантом нужно отдавать себя самого целиком и полностью, без остатка, а у меня в последнее время так вообще не получается сконцентрироваться на занятиях.
Мне очень тяжело и так одиноко..
Мама меня не понимает, с отчимом они уже помирились, у них в отношениях наступило полное взаимопонимание и идиллия, вчера вечером по приезде домой мама даже не вышла к порогу чтобы меня встретить и как только я подошла к ней с намерением пообщаться она сказала что очень устала и хочет спать, при том с дядей Пашей до этого они сидели на кухне и мило беседовали, ей выплатили зарплату и она накупила домой кучу продуктов которые отчим пожирал без зазрения совести, при том мне он сказал что я, видите ли, пью слишком много молока..
Да, за день в среднем я выпиваю порядка двух литров молока: если делаю кофе, то только на молоке, если варю кашу то ни в коем разе не добавляю воды, таким образом на меня "уходит" два пакета в день, кашу я ем не так часто, а вот кофе и зелёный чай пью литрами, когда я начала восстанавливаться то перестала разбавлять молоко водой, с тех самых пор мне тошно от кофе на воде, даже если там всего сто грамм, даже если пятьдесят на пятьдесят, мне уже "так" не нравится.
Не иначе как разбаловалась, да.
Сегодня в колледже было проигрывание с пианисткой, и, я конкретно налажала, моя соната "развалилась", я долго не могла собраться, взять себя в руки и успокоится.
Мне кажется что я недостаточно стараюсь, другие дети в коллеже выше меня на одну ступень, а то и на две.

Breakfast this morning is my usual two egg omelet w/ half an avocado & an apple!

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