#minniemaud

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Happy Thursday!
I am ~finally~ home from Florida and am enjoying my usual breakfast as today's preworkout meal. In the past 5-6 days I've had 2 short little hotel gym lifts and my only cardio this week was walking around Disney world on Monday🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm excited to see what all this rest does for me today...ALSO its my second to last day in my home gym before being back at school whaaaaaaat‼️ALSO part 2: I'm meeting @kelseyw98 there and I am v excited about that. All in all a good day😎
Okay I'll stop now, have a great day💃🏼#TheDailyBlob

Night snack is a whole cookies and cream layer cake and four vanilla cake pops! 😋🍮🍰🍪🍭 so dang right I went the 3500 path 💪 my twin crashed the side mirror of our cat though and my dad screamed at her and it was super upsetting :( it wasn't her fault and I feel so bad for her ☹️ anyway I pushed through tonight despite my final weight uncertainty 👊 sweet dreams angels!❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated #fuckana #happypoints

Yesterday I hit a mark in my recovery that I was honestly really scared to hit- I didn’t know how I was going to react to seeing that number and realizing where I was. I didn’t know if I (or my ED) was going to feel scared, nervous, excited 💁….. You never know until you get there…. But yesterday.. for the first time in my life — I hit a “healthy” weight that I pushed myself to get to— no treatment place or team made me do this, no one said I HAD to or fed me or pushed me, no one MADE me eat carbs or sweets or “challenge” foods.. getting there and choosing those hard things was and is MY choice… and honestly it feels amazing. It feels amazing because I did it. I chose it. and I’m going to keep choosing it. It felt amazing because I am NOT playing any of the games I used to play.. the “recover but stay at your minimum”.. the “recover but be really fit and strong”. “recover but eat vegan, vegetarian, clean, ect.” — I hit it without any “RECOVER BUTS” —and it feels DAMN good! This number I hit was exactly that.. a number,  a minimum… and honestly— I don’t care what my maximum is either… I’m letting myself be. I’m living.. I think that having a set weight you HAVE stay at, just puts another stipulation and disordered thought to it. They only “recover but” I want in my life is mine… a nice curvyy one, a REAL RECOVERY BUTT ❤️🍑

Hallo ☺️✌🏻 part 1 meines #foodiaries beginnt, wie immer, mit dem #breakfast 🍞☕️🍎zum #snack gab es dann den restlichen Jogurt vom #frühstück und einen Cornyriegel🥜dann gabs #lunch #mittagessen und zwar Kartoffeln 🥔 mit selbstgemachten Kräuterquark🌿 ✌🏻 und zum #dessert #nachtisch einen Jogurt 🥜#minniemaud #recovery #recoveryishard #essstörung #essstörungrecovery #bulimia #bulimic #bulimie #food #fooddiary #foodblogger #antidiät #anorexiarecovery #weightrestoreddoesnotmeanfat #weightrestored #eatingdisorder #youtube #youtuber

Pint with my favourite @aliciasrecovery LY 💛💛 Trying to persuade my dad to get me some equipments for a home gym legit need him to pay 140 of it hahahaha no but it takes 3fkn hours of my day to get to the gym bc I have to rely on publics ugh
Anyway I'm just well doing nothing with my days?😂
Gonn play some zelda and then head into bed in a few h so gn guys I guess😂💛
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#anarecovery#anorexiarecovery#anorexianervosarecovery#anawho#eatittobeatit#foodisfuel#strongnotskinny#healthynotskinny#balancednotclean#edrecovery#edfam#eatingdisorderrecovery#minniemaud#recovery#realrecovery#prorecovery#weightrestored#weightrestoreddoesnotmeanfat#pintparty

I've had.... Well... Interesting day. Not interesting but... Yeah.
I had blood test done, went to the ED clinic and met the cutest 2-year-old girl walking there and then we started to talk. I'm not good with kids and I'm not a kid person but she was just so adorable and so genuine, that she melted my heart! We talked about Moomins, names of our shoes, hides and magic hides (she hid and I had to wonder if someone has seen a tiny, blonde girl anywhere) and she always started giggling so loudly 😂

I have soon 7 yo niece so I'm much better with kids now, but I don't have this desire to get kids of my own, and I'm not even able to have biological kids. But I'm okay with that. I have Doora, and I have my niece who will satisfy my craving for kids.
Omg that sounded so horrible!!! 🙈😂😂😂 Anyways, I managed to change my nurse! Hallelujah!
But the bad news is that my kidneys aren't working as well as they should be. This can cause fluid and medications to build up in my body, so they'll keep an eye on it 🙄

Today's #mealoftheday was macaroni casserole made of minced meat and I added some blue cheese, cc and ketchup. And a bar of chocolate for dessert 🍫

We discussed of my previous experiences of #minniemaud and I told him about the EH, when I ate up to 5000 kcal daily. I noticed how restrictively people would treat me, because I was asked if I should have restricted little bit and eat only 2500, and this would lead to "controlled" weight gain, approximately kilo per week.
That's not okay. No one can say how much weight I should put on weekly. No one can actually advice me to eat less, just because "even the HC athletes cannot eat 5000 per day".
Maybe not, but I've had anorexia for 15 years, and now my body is shutting down. My heart, liver, kidneys, bones, even my immune system isn't doing well. So if my body needs for 5000 kcal, that's because it NEEDS it and no one, NO ONE, can advice me to eat less and gain slower.
Because my body knows the best.
No dr, no nurse, no one else knows that.
Only my body does 🍃

To all of you who've heard that same advice 👆
DO NOT LISTEN! Listen to your BODY and reconnect with it, because it knows the best what you need! 💗

Morning snack today is a @one1brands salted caramel protein bar. Pistachios, and a serving of chocolate macaron granola! 😋 tbh I was quite proud of myself for this since I usually struggle to have both granola and protein bars 👊 it doesn't really make sense tho since I'm going to eat the same amount either way 🙄 anyway I'm hanging around a bit more this morning and then I have iop later today 🙌 I also had this combined with some chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast 👏 have a lovely angels!!❤️😘 #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated #fuckana #happypoints

Много кто просил мою историю похудения и..я вспомнила что не дописала её.
В ближайшее время все выложу.
Приготовьтесь к третьей части, две предыдущие вы можете найти по тегу #chromefilth_history
Если прочитайте то оставьте любой комментарий, пожалуйста.
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Девятый класс, собираюсь в школу на первое сентября вместе с бабушкой, завтрак по стандарту: овсяная каша на воде и небольшое яблоко, бабушка просит меня "съесть что-нибудь ещё" но я едва ли нахожу в себе силы передвигаться по дому, ведь мало кто знает что накануне вечером я потратила три тысячи рублей выделенные мне на одежду закидываясь дешёвыми сладостями и бич-пакетами в туалете торгового центра.
Наступает переломный момент: я пью соду смешивая её с уксусом, желудок ноет от боли, в туалете я все чаще вижу кровянистые выделения, петь становится невыносимо больно, ведь моё горло сплошняком изодрано зубной щёткой.
С каждым днём количество приступов уменьшается, аппетит пропадает, мой дневной рацион сводится к тридцати граммам овсянки "быстров" утром и маленьким "савушкиным" вечером, три раза в неделю я делала три шоколадных разгруза, брала обычно либо чисто горький, либо чисто молочный, мама начинает сильно переживать за меня, с каждым днём я становлюсь все меньше и меньше, однако же, мне начинает казаться что тридцать грамм овсянки и сто пятнадцать грамм обезжиренного творога это "слишком много", я начинаю отрабатывать еду, бегать по лестницам вверх-вниз, гулять по городу вместо того чтобы посещать школу, убираться дома и делать все лишь бы потратить злосчастные калории, в обед мамы как правило не было дома, поэтому максимум что я могла себе позволить это лысый кофе без сахара, однажды она пришла раньше и заставила меня пообедать, налила борщ и стала кричать "ешь!".
Я выпила бульон, достала телефон под столом и позвонила на домашний, мама побежала к телефону а я напихала мясо в лифчик и трусы, теперь мне стало не так страшно, я часто пользовалась подобной "хитростью", в тот день мне стало страшно из-за этого жирного бульона и я начала пить слабительные: сначала выпила бабушкины капли, затем перешла на бисакодил: две таблетки, четыре, пять, десять, пятнадцать..
Я мучалась с запорами и стала часто видеть

MOST RECENT

Warm raspberry and white chocolate bakery cookie and some of the Ben and Jerry's strawberry topped ice cream😍🙈. #realrecovery #minniemaud #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit

Guten Abend 😘🌸 part 2 meines #foodiaries #afternoonsnack ,#dinner + 3 #unpictured Haribo Phantasia Dinger😅 und #nightsnack 2 Kinderriegel, Raffaelo Caramello ❤️❤️ ( davon brauch ich unbedingt Nachschub😍😋) und Haribo Phantasia 👍🏻 Kalorien heute ca. 2735 (+/-) Ich wünsche euch allen schonmal eine gute Nacht 😘#minniemaud #recovery #recoveryishard #bulimia #bulimic #bulimie #borderline #depression #depressionrecovery #depressed #essstörungrecovery #edrecovery #essstörung #antidiät #anorexiarecovery #weightrestored #weightrestoreddoesnotmeanfat #food #fooddiary #foodblogger #youtube #youtuber #youtubedeutschland #staystrong

I just got home from partial and had a snack of kefir w/ peanut pecan nut butter! It's been a bit of a trying day, for some reason I've been in a weird mood. It's like I feel completely fine but trying to communicate with people has been rough, I've come out as snappy and like I'm upset. I don't know how to explain it but in my head I'm really ok mood wise! Tonight, my aunt and uncle will both be gone so I get some time to myself which is nice. I plan on working out, talking with my boyfriend, doing some recovery work and yoga way later on 🌻

I DID IT!!!!!!! I GOT 3 A's !!!!!! 🙌🏻
Words can not describe how proud I am of myself. I have proved to myself, and everyone who has ever doubted me that I can infact do it. Anything is possible when you put your mind to it 💃🏻 The photo on the left was taken the day of my first exam. It's safe to say that I really wasn't in a good place at all. I was a shell of a person, My every waking move was controlled by my anorexia. I had been advised to drop out of all my exams, and my ED team were trying to withdraw me from the exam board fearing for my safety.
But in true lara style I plowed on through, and continued with my exams against medical advice.
There's no denying that it was a gruelling 2 months, every day seemed like a never ending battle.
The exams themselves were torturous both physically and mentally. I fainted frequently on my journey to school, and ended and up being so cold in the exam rooms that I could no longer move my fingers in order to type. Sitting down for lengthy periods of time caused me such stress that I had panic attacks mid way through many of my papers, and was unable to answer questions, too preoccupied by guilt.
But when there's a will there's a way! Anorexia had stolen so much from me over the years, and I was determined not to allow it to ruin another year of my education.
Although In doing so I admittedly put my wellbeing at risk, I do not regret sitting my exams one bit, in fact I am proud of my decision.

i'm so happy right now!!! today was a-level results day and i got confirmed a place at my chosen uni 😄🎉🎈🌟🌈💫✨ so i went out for lunch and got this celebratory veggie portobello pizza from @honestcrustsourdoughpizza @altymarket 🍕 and this afternoon i baked some oat & raisin double choc chip cookies which came out really well 🍪🍪🍪 later i'm going out with friends 🙌 if any of you guys got your results today hope it went ok 👍
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#recoverywin #pizza #cookies
#reasonstorecover
#anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #vegetarian #minniemaud #chooserecovery #chooselife #recoverywarrior #edwarrior #fuckana #progressnotperfection #strongnotskinny #healthynothungry #feelthefearanddoitanyway #recoveryispossible #prorecovery

Dinner👌🏻. After tonight I'm never ever ever eating these bloody sausages again😂. At my worst they were my ONLY safe evening meal food, and I had about 12 boxes in my freezer. I've finally got through them all🙌🏻 so thank the lord because I can't stand them😷, and the fact that anorexia convinced me I "LOVED THEM SO MUCH" make me realise how deluded I was😳😬. Also - sweet potato and hummus is game changing 👌🏻 so it deffo made up for the rest. #realrecovery #minniemaud #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anarecovery #recoverywarrior #recovery #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit

Afternoon snack was a packet of twiglets which I need to finishhhh, I tried to numb down the flavour of them by dipping them in Nutella and peanut butter hahahahah, in other news I'm extremely stressed because of reasons I shall explain in the next post I do because I'm super busy right now hahaha#edrecovery #edwarrior #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #food #choclate #realcovery #recoverforlife #realrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryqueen #strongnotskinny #togetherwecan #duckyoued #minniemaud #3000calories #eatittobeatit #prorecovery #recoverywin

Dinner 😊 Chicken tikka masala and pilau rice 😍👌 What's that? Another challenge? I'm on fire today! Definitely so after this curry 😂 Like seriously though, I've now had three meals and two snacks today and each of them have broken one rule or another. Seriously chuffed with myself today! Just supper to go now and I might even attempt to add in a cheeky extra if I'm feeling hungry. I actually feel my first day of meal planning has been a successful one. It really does seem to have helped. I haven't found myself stressing out or struggling over what to choose and clearly, it's made challenging my rules a lot easier,! Got to dash now. Rushing off to Beavers for an evening of roasting marshmallows over a camp fire and playing games in the sunshine 😊

#anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #recovery #foodisfuel #realrecovery #beatana #prorecovery #anawho #edwarrior #eattobeat #beatanorexia #eatingdisorderrecovery #nourishtoflourish #edfamily #delicious #likeit #likesreturned #likesforlike #likelike #likes #dinner #foodie #currynight #foodblogger #recoverywin
#motivated #motivation #minniemaud

Afternoon #snack (with a friend) was a BIG bowl of nicecream with granola💞 This has been a fearfood but I guess nothing actually is anymore, I never get anxious or nervous, instead I've just chosen to live life to its fullest🦋☀️🌷🥞 ((That's also why I'm not so active here😢😢))

Lunch earlier was a coronation chicken sandwich and a packet of sweet chilli sensations 🌶 . Just been out for a few hours with my friend and now I'm procrastinating doing my housework ready for the weekend 😩 #realrecovery #minniemaud #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anarecovery #recoverywarrior #recovery #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit

Hey World, this is just another recovery account. Afternoon snack: one apple (already ate half of it) and soy yoghurt with honey and sunflower seeds. Snacks are SUCH a big struggle #bulimia#bulimiarecovery#bulimiaawareness#ed#recovery#minniemaud#freeyourself#loveyourself#youarebeautiful

Blueberry. bagel. French toast.---- SHUT UP!? --Yup you read that right. Came home yesterday to a lovely surprise from @westernbagel ... woke up this morning REAALLY wanting both a bagel AND French toast..?? 🤷‍♀️--- so made it magically delicious and combined them both! This is flexibility at its finest 👌😘

Happy Thursday!
I am ~finally~ home from Florida and am enjoying my usual breakfast as today's preworkout meal. In the past 5-6 days I've had 2 short little hotel gym lifts and my only cardio this week was walking around Disney world on Monday🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm excited to see what all this rest does for me today...ALSO its my second to last day in my home gym before being back at school whaaaaaaat‼️ALSO part 2: I'm meeting @kelseyw98 there and I am v excited about that. All in all a good day😎
Okay I'll stop now, have a great day💃🏼#TheDailyBlob

"Надя не в том состоянии, чтобы принимать посетителей" - говорила мама.
"Придурошные, вы куда собрались!" - говорила бабушка.
Но мы с дедушкой пошли в больницу и добивались того чтобы нас пустили, а в итоге лишились обедуса и потратили своё время..
На фото мой..ээ..нуу..
Обед ._.
Батончик со сгущёнкой "переменка перекус", яблочки и абрикосишны (и то и другое дедушка упёр когда ходил за мясом на базар)
Батончик..такое себе, накуплю таких в колледж, хотя мюсли не люблю, однако же пятнадцать рублей за штуку..
Очень даже кусна)))0

Hallo ☺️✌🏻 part 1 meines #foodiaries beginnt, wie immer, mit dem #breakfast 🍞☕️🍎zum #snack gab es dann den restlichen Jogurt vom #frühstück und einen Cornyriegel🥜dann gabs #lunch #mittagessen und zwar Kartoffeln 🥔 mit selbstgemachten Kräuterquark🌿 ✌🏻 und zum #dessert #nachtisch einen Jogurt 🥜#minniemaud #recovery #recoveryishard #essstörung #essstörungrecovery #bulimia #bulimic #bulimie #food #fooddiary #foodblogger #antidiät #anorexiarecovery #weightrestoreddoesnotmeanfat #weightrestored #eatingdisorder #youtube #youtuber

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