when i was two, my mother left my father and i. no one knew where she went, but we knew she hadn't been kidnapped or anything like that. my father woke up to a note on his pillow. he won't tell me what it said, but that mother had decided she didn't want to be with us anymore.
we never speak of it anymore. mother brought great shame on us. mostly, we pretend she never existed. like i was created, not born, a motherless alien who was grown in a lab or harvested off a plant.
when i was very young, i imagined my mother was a mermaid. she had come to shore because she was in love with my father, and wanted a child, but could only stay for so long. she had to get back to the sea. i would visit the ocean with my grandmother and smile at the waves like we shared a secret. maybe mama was in there, smiling back at me.
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