Okay, let's be honest here. No matter how happy you are, how skilled you are in keeping your mental health up, how positive you try to look at things, some days still suck. They suck even though everything's supposed to be fine. You've tried everything. You were brave and strong and smiled all you could but it didn't help. You tried doing things you like but all of a sudden you don't enjoy doing them anymore because the voice inside of your head tells you that you suck at what you do, that you're not good enough so you should just stop, why are you even trying?
Some days this hits me really hard. It comes out no where when I'm at the gym and suddenly notice that everyone is so much fitter and stronger than I am. When I just can't get that song right and start hating my voice. When I feel lost because I think nobody needs me. What do you do when these things happen to you?
When I was younger I started listening to the voice and I got so angry about myself that I didn't want to continue anymore. But someone showed me that this was the wrong way. You can't hate yourself out of depression. The only way to get out is to try and love yourself as much as you can. So what I do is: I start talking or singing to myself. I tell myself "I love you so much and it's going to be okay, we'll make it right, I promise!" I gently caress my arms and face and try to breath slowly. And eventually things get a tiny bit better. This is no cure. No one way out. Still it's something. It's a baby step on a long road but it's a step into the right direction. You can't always be happy and things won't always be easy but that's no reason to give up. I don't want to hate myself anymore and even if the mean voices in my head are screaming there are some friendly ones as well. Much more quiet but worth listening to.
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