I have a very happy positive personality trapped inside an insightful sad soul which is weird sometimes but it’s just how I’m built. .
If I’m not bouncing around high on life and possibilities , I’m under my doona with the puppies too low or scared to get out of bed.
I’ve had so many great magical wonderful opportunities this year with my hard work and positive outlook paying off and also had tons of terrible luck and times I wished I could just simply not exist from the pain as I feel so useless and hopeless being bedbound all day with my painkillers not working.
But then I open up insta and see all you wonderful people creating and making and living their lives unpologetically and being so kickass and all your adorable pets and it is the best distraction (along with finding vintage patterns on Pinterest to try to recreate in the future)
And before I know it I’m all happy go lucky and I’m bouncing off the walls again from excitement from your creations and full of life and plans and that’s ok, because it’s just me.
It’s always darkest before the dawn and if it was sunny forever there would be terrible drought and we need rain to create flowers and yummy food and to survive and to splash around in on ridiculous flamingo pool floats. .
So don’t be ashamed of your fears or your sadness or your shame or your failures because feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.