The 40 lbs you lost is a mixture of fat and muscle loss. You have not improved at all since you started this "cut". You look relatively the same as you did when you started. This cut started with a groin injury and the realization that you weren't going to reach your Bulgarian Training goals. So you made up excuses and the 'deload', and 'cutting diet' ideas were born out of the failures. The cut was never planned, you never mentioned it during your Bulgarian Training phases.
You're getting weaker, it started to show before your cut. The cut is simply just an excuse to cover it up, and you're failing at the cut. You can never accept that you failed, and the fact that you're getting weaker. Jason, you're lying to yourself. You can't face yourself, I think that you despise yourself for it.
The fake laughter while talking about the people that dislike you is a sign of insecurity. You fake a laugh to make yourself feel better. " haha, those guys are so stupid. I'm smarter and better", when in reality, deep down within you, you're saying "they're right, but I can't accept that. So I'm going to act like it doesn't bother me". We can read you like an open book Blaha, and you're a very small book. Just a few pages. Easy to read, easy to summarize. You're very easy to figure out. You called me and those that call you out "mentally ill". Thanks for noticing us. 😉