The worst thing about chronic illness is that it can come out of what feels like nowhere. Earlier I was feeling good, feeling confident, and now I feel so awful physically and it’s honestly so hard not to cry right now. My head just hurts so bad! And to top it off, Ive been having hearing difficulty lately and my middle ear is suffering, so I’m having a lot of vertigo randomly and it’s making it hard to function 😭 I’ve had migraines for about 5/6 years now. I’ve tried every medication under the sun, and the only one that helps is Toradol, and even then it takes multiple doses or injections to stop the pain. The vertigo is part of Ménière's disease, which I was diagnosed with my senior year of high school. Being half deaf/hard of hearing isn’t painful, but the vertigo can really screw with me and make it hard to eat, which my stomach doesn’t need any help with. Yesterday my head didn’t hurt terribly, but I had an aura so I knew something was coming. This morning I felt fine, but now here I am in unrelenting pain. I checked my oxygen sat and it was low, which I’m not surprised about because my asthma has been so bad and I haven’t gotten around to getting a nebulizer treatment, so I decided to get some O2. I also decided to get my heating pad out. So far nothing is helping, so I’m calling it quits on homework for the night and resting.
I feel like life is against me. First I got into a car accident and had to miss a few days, then I got the flu and missed a whole week, and now I’m on migraine number 3 of the semester. It’s so tough because I’m trying so hard to get my work done and get through these classes, but if it’s not one thing it’s the other. Chronic illnesses, especially invisible ones, are so incredibly hard to manage. I feel like my life revolves around my symptoms. I always have to plan for what I’m gonna do if I get sick instead of making plans with my friends like a normal college student.
I keep trying to tell depression to get lost, but it’s been attacking me since I woke up this morning. Time to take some meds and hopefully sleep this off 😫