Five dreams, I had five dreams
One, the forest of youth, a crush
calling and the leaves suffocating
until I was no longer but a hill of dirt.
Two: pills to gulp, and with each one
I lost a friend until I was alone with the Tin Man.
Three: I held on to this one least,
for when I woke I saw the storm clouds and dreamed that that was the my slumber.
Four—I was John Henry and The Machine took my arms;
I had to search while it paved Route 66. My losing heart lost so much.
And five, five was that I was a child again
and I remembered when my mom,
and sometimes my dad,
when they forgot to pick me up from school’s daycare.
I remember the women sitting to the side
saying that they would come (“hush pequeño”) and take me
but when they whispered aside
they said the head should call again
Make sure they still weren’t home
hopefully on their way.
And I dreamed of the #marble paintings I’d create
trying to squelch my fear of staying in that toy room
where even if I had paints and blocks and mats and dolls
I couldn’t have the woman who tucked me in last night,
kissed me on my forehead, and said it would all be all right.
A fugue of dreams of loss—but that last one...
that last one had me at my heart
when I woke it had me at me knees
and I couldn’t get myself back to sleep
so I had to live with the mirror
that that dream transversed over
and now is stuck in our life’s quilt.
A coal miner of my darkest fear
slipped through the cracks of my eyelids.
#poetry #poem #poem #noices