🌟Reconnecting & Discovering YOU shouldn't be privilege, it's essential🌟
From an early age I had a hard time identifying with myself, and fell into a space of identifying through my illnesses & circumstances. I fell into the trap of labelling myself, and trying to live up to someone else's expectations and values. I was in a constant quest to redefine who I was to gain some external approval, to be validated. The more I pushed to please someone else, the further I got from myself. The further I got from myself, the more confused, lost and broken I felt. It was this never ending cycle of morphing and changing to fit something I thought I should be, and seeking answers and ways to numb the pain from every external source I could think of. I had zero value or self worth, because I had absolutely no idea of who I was. How can I love something or someone that I feel no connection with?
✨How can you love yourself if you don't know who you are?
Shortly after high school, a month after my most recent open heart surgery I was at my breaking point. I had gone through some of the lowest, darkest and hardest months of my life and I kept wrestling with the feeling of "what's the point?"
I couldn't see or imagine a future, because I didn't know who I was or what in the world I wanted. That hopelessness weighed so heavy on my freshly scared chest. I needed some glimpse of hope, something to ignite my inner most desires that I had gotten so far from. And in my darkest hour I was sent the most unexpected gift, a quiet, soft, kind man who wanted to see me. Not the me that I had been pretending to be for my entire life, but the broken, messed up & lost woman that I was when he met me, and all the glory and goodness that I had long buried deep underneath the surface. He reminded me of some of my long forgotten desires, and ignited a spark that gave me to courage to connect.
Over the next few years I poured my heart and soul into rediscovering me. To stepping into an unapologetic space of learning to love myself through the hiccups, adventures and hot mess moments. I
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