A birthday spent in hospital (January 2015) VS a birthday (January 2017) spent eating, drinking and getting tattoos with my parents. Ive seen a heap of face transformations lately and wanted to join in and show you all the difference that NOURISHING your bodies has. Did the 15kg between these two photos make me fat, unfit, worthless or gross? No. They made me human- they gave me colour to my face, cushioning between my bones, a sparkle in my eye and energy for life.
The question I get MOST often asked through DM is ‘how did you recover’ and as much as I wish I could reply to each and every one of you with a straightforward set of instructions; I cant and I don’t. Eating Disorders and any mental illness are not something you can put an ointment on twice a day for a week, or take a prescription of antibiotics for- they are a LIFE TIME, chronic issue… one that unfortunately is VERY hard to fully recover from. Im honest with you about this because it seems that some of you take for granted that by what I post I no longer struggle with any thoughts and that I am completely healed and free of my own disorder. As much as I would LOVE for this to be the case, it is not and I still struggle ALL OF THE TIME. The only difference between these two photos and periods of time is that whereas on the left I would circome to my eating disorder mentality and would do everything it wanted in order to stay in my comfort zone, on the right I make the CONSCIOUS, EVERYDAY, HOURLY decision to fight it, question it, think about it and to do the opposite of what it commands me to do.
Yes, this means that compared to the left, I am often left questioning myself much more now a days as I no longer listen to the disordered voices; BUT it makes me strong, it gives me life and it motivates me to keep on going and never turn back.
So this is for those of you who ask me ‘how to recover’. I’m sorry but there is no quick fix, medicine or ointment, it is not a wound, a scratch or a virus. Mental Illness is to be treated with caution, day by day and EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. (Continued in comments)