There are beautiful photos, and chances are that behind all of the lovely ones you look at, there are messy lives. And those are beautiful in their own ways too. There is beauty in the chaos, and in everything that doesn't work out, and in all of the times it's hard. It isn't surface beauty, like the photos we post that are carefully edited and thoughtfully curated (not that there's a damn thing wrong with all of that surface beauty). It's digging down and finding the beauty in the learning moments. It's the flowers that grow in the cracks if the pavement in our lives.
Today was a long one. It rained all night and it rained all day. I've given up altogether on the thought of getting certain parts of the field planted (it will never dry out in time) , and I have ran out of room already in my workable land, leaving many crops unseeded. We have two gorgeous weddings happening in the studio this weekend and our cooler is acting up, freezing some of the blooms I already arranged. Our truck was wrote off after I hit a deer a month ago and I'm learning that navigating the world of vehicle financing as a self employed person is nearly impossible. I'm also learning that running a farming business without a truck is more difficult than one might imagine. I'm wracking up rental bills and asking plenty of favours.
And here's where it gets beautiful.
Our customers are loving on us through all of it. Growing pains, late replies to emails after long days, through all of it they keep showing up. I see the mess, but they see the beauty.
My team is small, but they give our little business everything they can. To have built something from nothing, and pushed it to a point where I NEED help, that's pretty beautiful in its own way. My various neighbors have lent me their trucks, their lawn mowers, their tractors and their time in the last two weeks. We are nothing if not a community supported farm.
Some days seem messier than others. Today was one of them.
Tonight as the sun set the sky shredded into streaks of cotton candy purples and pinks. I pulled my husband out of his woodshop, and we watched those tufts roll through the sky.
And all of it was beautiful.