So I’ve clearly been on the struggle bus lately, but I’m just trying to process everything going on in my life and it’s been really difficult.
Those of you who don’t know me very well, I have some pretty gnarly anger issues & get caught up in my feels with depression/anxiety every once in a while. Going to the gym and eating a healthier diet changed that. I’ve seen myself grow in many different ways from weightlifting. It’s taught me how to stick with something & stay dedicated. It’s taught me that only I have control over my life. Fortunately, the gym has become a habit & I do it because I love it, it’s like therapy to me.
Over the last 6 months I’ve really contemplated competing in powerlifting. But I’ve realized it’s mainly just because so many people have told me I should & not because I truly, from the bottom of my heart love it that much to compete in it. What’s silly is that I’ve been struggling with that thought solely because of what others will think of me. And that’s just stupid.
About a month ago, I indulged in some activities (psilocybin mushrooms) which made me really dig deep & learn a lot about myself. (Also cured my anxiety, yup, cured. I took quite a bit we can talk about that another time if you guys would like! Cuz I’d fucking love to) I’ve learned that I truly am a helper & that’s what I feel I need to follow. I love to help people, I love working out, weights, running, Muay Thai, yoga, I love to help people get into shape and make a healthy routine, I love the elderly, I love children and babies, I love plants and makeup and animals and fashion and culinary. I love home decor and music and LIVING in a bikini. .
I guess what I’m saying is that there’s so much more to me than just trying to be a powerlifter & idk why it took me so long to realize that. You can be not just ANYthing you want but EVERYthing you want. .
Let all your bright colors shine ✨
Don’t be afraid of what others will be think, live this one life you have for yourself. Live life to the fullest 💜