You would be 71 today.
If you were still earth side, that is. (to me you’ll always be sixty six. just like to you, i was always your little girl. it’s kinda’ cute how our hearts keep us in certain safe places, isn’t it?!) I miss you, Daddy. I miss you so incredibly much that it physically hurts sometimes. It makes my belly ache. my breathing shallow. my heartbeat rapid.
I’ve come to learn that those are the symptoms of a broken heart. (along with trouble sleeping + all the highs + all the lows)
It’s funny, you know, how I came to first learn those symptoms. It was from not only experiencing them myself, but also from watching you experience them. Me + You (and the girls). All suffering from the same symptoms. Together. Simultaneously.
It was when we lost her.
Our mother; your wife.
It was at that moment I realized that a broken heart? Well, it is not a myth. Rather, it is palpable. observable. it’s such a force, it’s as if you can see the physical crack right down through the middle of the big, red heart (kinda’ like what a fifth grader draws when breaking up with their first crush). You can see it.
You can feel it.
I’ve learned how to live with a broken heart though, Daddy. Being left without parents to walk the world with you at the age of thirty two? One could allow that to eat you up, and make you bitter. Or one could allow it to help make you become one of the most grateful, thankful humans that there ever was. I chose the latter. (thanks for making me that kind of human, pops. you and mom? pat each other on the back for that, would you?) My greatest peace in this journey is knowing that your broken heart has been healed, Daddy. For she is at your side; never to leave again. You two really are the epitome of together forever. And that right there? Well, although it doesn’t heal my broken heart, it does good things to it anyway, you know?! It’s like beauty in brokenness. (slightly tempted to make this my life motto.) So while you two will celebrate your day together in the most exquisite of party locations, I’ll be here. Right here in this very place. (...continued in comments 👇)