(TMI) Transparency Post: At 7 weeks post partum, yesterday was the first day back at the gym that I didn't feel like every lift was hindered by my broken vagina.
Hey, I labeled this post TMI from the beginning. C-section... vaginal delivery... birth is no joke. I fell prey to two intramuscular tears along with an episiotomy to meet my beautiful baby girl. Healing has been an absolute bitch and an emotional train wreck for a woman who considered herself mentally stable and strong as hell. No one told me about this stuff. Not the swelling that takes place afterwards to make you wonder if you've literally become part of the elephant species. Just the cute bundle of joy that comes after.
Babies can literally break you. However, from the stretching, pulling, tearing, bleeding, sleep deprivation, heartburning daily struggle comes the most innocent and beautiful creation you've ever laid your eyes on. And likely in my little beans first 6 months of life she may have to undergo 1-3 different open heart surgeries - which makes (to me) what I went through NOTHING in comparison.
How could I feel this way? I never knew it was possible. She's worth so much more than my everything that's been "broken" on me. And I'd do it all again (FOR HER... not literally again... lol!) just to see her tiny, gummy smile even once.
Still. Mommies are tough. They go through some wicked shit which I could never appreciate until now. I thank my own mom for everything she endured for me. It solidifies the reason my mom is my best friend and another reason that my daughter doesn't have a choice but to be my new best friend 💛
What was once broke CAN be rebuilt. And I will do it for her. To be the strongest mommy for my mini. So I can protect her, comfort her, love her to the best of my ability.
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