What do you do with big feelings? Do you avoid and shut down? Do you blame? Do you cry? Do you distract and get busy?
Discomfort sucks. I have been feeling so many big feelings recently. And I can't say that it's something new. I feel like it's been a build up over the years but more recently everything is bubbling up to the surface to be processed.
One of my tendencies is to find meaning. To find out why. To put everything into a neat little box so I can feel safe that there was a reason. And when I can't find a good one I look to the stars.
And I totally believe in the influence of the stars...but sometimes there's no good reason. Sometimes....its just what you're going through. Sometimes....it just IS.
That's so incredibly hard for me. Accepting what is. Radically accepting what is with all the pain and discomfort. With all the heartache. Letting my raw humanness just marinate in all the imperfection of myself, others, and the situation.
I often want to run and hide from it all. And I used to. I used to numb the big feelings with drugs and alcohol. It was all just too much for be to handle at the time.
But now I begrudgingly sit with it all. Now I breathe deeply. Now I cry. Now I let myself feel all the pain and let it be there. Because I'm wiser now. Now I know the only way out is through. ❤️✌🏻#latenightfeels •