So, you’re kinky, but your partner is vanilla? Or you want to explore kink, but your relationship is already vanilla. What do you do? How can you introduce the idea to your partner?
Please be patient and respectful of your partner. Not everyone is kinky.
Your partner may not be interested, or your partner may not fit the role you want them to.
The way you approach this subject will affect the outcome, so be conscious of your partners past, boundaries, and interests. They may want to go slow, try alternatives, or not do it all.
Before talking to your partner try to evaluate your own needs and desires. You want to present a fairly clear image of what you’re into (as well as what you would like to explore and grow into) So, find what specific activities, words, roles, etc are attractive to you.
Try to avoid kink jargon (ABDL, BDSM, DDLG, CBT) and instead express yourself with clear details, so it doesn’t frighten or confuse them. There are a lot of misconceptions about kink, so be specific about what you like and why. Just telling them you like kink could be confusing and scary.
Be mindful of your approach. Introduce them to more mild examples of your kink before diving right into the hardcore stuff. “Hey, spanking really turns me on. Would you be open to trying it sometime?” is a great example of this. Avoid extreme, blurry demands like “ I like being a sub. I want you to be in charge, call me names, and hit me.” A gentle way to introduce kink is attending a workshop or class in your area, watching videos about kink (Morgan Thorne, Evie Lupine, Brittany Simon are all kink YouTubers with informative, educational videos) reading kinky erotica, and sharing kinky pictures that are arousing.
Lastly ask how they feel about what you’ve said and if there are any fantasies they would like to explore. Also, define the boundaries between fantasy and reality. Establish safe words, and be attentive to your partners comfort. If at any point one of you changes your mind, stop.
What are YOUR suggestions on how to introduce kink to a vanilla partner? (Swimsuit from @swimsuitsforall) #kink #sexpositive #bodypositive #bopo #kinkpositive