At the weekend I did a yoga for stress, anxiety and depression course with the wonderful teacher @lokyaretreats at a beautiful yurt @theyogagardenuk in a field in Sussex, surrounded by wildlife and sound of the rain coming down on the yurt roof. I was taught a variety of techniques to reduce excess cortisol levels in times of stress (and times of calm), instant things I can do to control, how to regulate the breath when stressed and a yoga routine to calm the body and mind. Today I saw the news headlines about children being told that they won’t be seen by child and mental health services until they’ve tried a suicide attempt. I flagged my sons behaviour when he was three years old, slightly hyperactive, different responses to his peers in social situations, very loud, slightly detached. The case file on my son (now nearly seven) is the size of a full lever arch file. We’ve been told it’s us, it’s not us, he’s naughty, he can’t control himself. We have been referred and rejected. We’ve been on waiting lists and we’ve been seen. In the meantime he has developed his emotions while we take a stab in the dark of how to parent him properly whilst knowing that some of his actions are out of his control at this age. The stress of the fight for him to be seen has caused me complete exhaustion. The knock on effect of his behaviour during meltdowns to the rest of the family had caused anxiety for myself and one of the boys. When the meltdowns start I can feel my body ramping up, remembering the last time and the cortisol flooding my system causing me to be in a physical state of alert, whilst my outside appears to be calm (the only way to calm him is to keep calm myself). I was told that we may never get help for him as the services are too overstretched. I was told we would need to wait until he started cutting himself or making an attempt on his life before he would be seen as a real problem. Luckily for my son, he has us and we adore him. I am a lioness when it comes to the boys and the middle ones greatest cheerleader. He will do great things in life but it’s now at this age that we need the help of the experts to guide us to understand him and how his brain works.