Trials suck. Tbh. But they're there for a reason. They form you.
That doesn't take away from the pain or frustration you're feeling. You're still feeling it and don't let anyone try to tell you that you "shouldn't" feel the way you do.
How you feel is a response to your environment, your actions, your thoughts... your set neural pathways. Yes it can change, but changing it takes work and time and a whole lot of trust that this bad can be used for good. So while you can work on future emotional reactions, what you feel right now, is real.
Pushing it down doesn't make it less painful and can even make it worse. Try, instead, to just let yourself be. Live what you're living. Knowing you're are blessed through it. Knowing that the end will be Good. Knowing that the pain will be worth it.
Persevering doesn't mean that you don't experience your trial. It doesn't mean that you avoid it and pretend life is great. Part of persevering through it is pushing through it, with all its negative effects, but getting through it because you know you will.
It's easy to avoid trial, to pass the plate to someone else, to hide through it, to not feel through it, to force yourself to not experience it. But if you don't experience it... Well, how will you grow from it. How will you learn from it. How will it make you stronger for the next trial?