2 years ago I had veins in my abs and was a little lean bean. 😍
Flash forward 2 years later, I have no abs and have some work to do to get back to a lean body state.
People, simply do NOT understand what it takes to compete, to get lean, to stay lean, and to do the same things day in and day out repeatedly throughout 25 weeks. (25 weeks is what it takes *personally* for me to comfortable have a good prep) especially coming from an eating disorder/body image issues. It is so hard to go from one extreme to the next. I am not downing bodybuilding or the ways of bodybuilding/competing it has saved my life and pulled me out of a very low place in life. It’s just not as easy as we always portray it to be.
I have been struggling to get back to a strict diet, strict cardio/workout routine it’s hard mentally when your body gets to a certain body weight/stage and is content, not responding. That’s all I seem to think about “just going to get that that certain point and again and nothing will happen” Prep isn’t easy for anyone but I haven’t fully found my “sweet spots” for prep. HOWEVER. I CANNOT let the fear of failure or the fear of disappointment ruin my progress or damper my happiness. I have to strive daily to be better than the day before. Something I think we all struggle with at some point. Just happens to be my downfall at the moment.
I have had a lot of people asking me when I’m stepping on stage again, if I have lost my drive to compete. So, my answer to that is when my mind, body, and soul connect and are all on the same page again I will step back on a stage. Who knows maybe this next year.. I am motivated to get lean and find my balance with food. I am more than ready to put in some work. However that inclines me to be more selfish with my time and my habits, I feel that is what I’m lacking in life at the moment. I took the 2 years to finish up my education, graduate college, I got married. I needed to reevaluate life and find balance again. I have enjoyed the last year of my life and I couldn’t be happier with the memories and the accomplishments I have made thus far. However, it’s time to make time for myself and to make ME and my BODY happy again. ❤️