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#joywarrior

PALING TERBARU

This beautiful baby. Ya'll. He is the most peaceful and happy human I have ever met. When you have a #hurriCanaan for a big brother, you need a #caidertot for a baby brother.
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Our hearts, our home, our arms, so full. .
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#grateful #beautifulbaby #blackboyjoy #adoptionrocks #828isgreat #youtubefamily #joywarrior #hopedealer #dailydoseofcaid

How deeply does your warrior sleep? Are you fully awake and receiving the love that is all around you?⠀

Love is available when we open our hearts in conversation and interactions, even with strangers.⠀

When we allow life to flow easily.⠀

Giving and receiving freely what we have to offer and what others are trying to give.⠀

Saluting the warrior in you today, sending love and peaceful energy 🤩❤️☮️🙏⠀

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.#embracinglife #choosejoy #joywarrior #awakenlove #intentionalliving #healingcoach #healinghearts #sacredspace #soulwork #joywarrior #liveunscripted #sobermom #soberwriter #bedeeplyrooted #setitfree
#divineenergy #divinelight #embracinglifenow #sobermom #soberwriter #sobermoments #bedeeplyrooted #iamloved #loveflow #embracinglifenow #universalenergy #universelovesyou #universalove #radiant

Last night Hubby and I had a belated Valentine’s date. We went to dinner which was for us. The food part, mostly for him. The “together” part was nice. Needed. Parts of me (my face) did not want to go. The tug-o-war of joy and pain. I let them duke it out and chose Joy.
At the end, we got our fortune cookies and mine read, “Something spectacular is about to happen.” I immediately said that this must mean March. It means meeting with Dr. Linskey. Long term, YES. However, in the short term, it meant our date ended with a trip to Target and buying a brand spankin new laundry basket. True love. AND it’s teal which is the ribbon color to support #trigeminalneuralgia and facial pain diseases. Most of you know that my comforting go-to place is my laundry basket (not a hot bath, etc). .
It was nice to get out with my hubby and get dressed up a little. And for @dallasjjames & all of you- I love clothes. AND I’m thrifty and trendy. My leopard shoes, $6 from this beloved store I am standing in. My jeans from my beloved GAP, on clearance & extra 50% off- less than $10. A $2 tank from Old Navy to hold my tube down. And my very favorite, my jacket. Wait for it...$3 from Good Will. AND it’s wool from GAP. I’m cheap. And desperately in need of a hairCHOP.
Spectacular things are happening. Even without fortune cookies saying so. Or dare I say, trips to Target (I hadn’t been in a week). It doesn’t feel that way today because I’m overwhelmed with pain, that dry heaving kind. It’s just been the way it’s been. Last night out, my laundry basket was trips to the bathroom to breathe & let a few tears out. And then left foot, right foot again.
Look for your spectacular in your everyday. It doesn’t have to be giant. It can be tiny. It could be target or a new laundry basket.... I love you. I love me. I love us! #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #truth #datenightwithhubby #joyandpain #choosejoy #targetgetsme #spectacularthings #fortunecookies #laundrybasket #dressingup #cheapdate #badassery #warrior #hopedealer #spoonielife #wecandohardthings #graceupongrace #godsgotme #iloveus #leftfootrightfoot #breathe #simplereminders #ineedahaircut #thrifty #trendystyle #chooseyou

This is alway, all ways, true. And if anyone ever makes you feel like they aren’t, those aren’t your people.
When I began the shift into truly recovering my life, there was also an enormous shift in relationships. I was finding my voice. I was growing and no longer “playing small”. I was disturbing the universe more and more with my truth. And as I did that more and more- not in a vicious way or in an unkind way but in a reclaiming my self, setting up boundaries way- certain people tried to remind me of my place. Push me back into my corner of shame. It was hard to “know better”. To keep reminding my self that I had a place at the table that was meant for me. And that my feelings weren’t meant to be swallowed or flushed or numbed in any way. They were valid & meant to be heard. And so some people left & I had to leave some people. The holding on & letting go is always painful. I am in that place again. And it’s painful. I’m seeing once again that staying in some relationships means playing small. It means my feelings aren’t valid. It means my voice has no place in the universe. However, if I let go, I know for certain that my my feelings are valid ESPECIALLY when I feel like they aren’t. I’ve got people now who encourage me to have my feelings- THOSE ARE YOUR PEOPLE. Some people in our live want us to keep believing that our feelings aren’t valid even when they are. It’s like being on monkey bars & just hanging in the same spot for all the days. You can’t go forward without letting go. You can’t disturb the universe without finding your voice. You can’t find your voice without knowing for certain that your feelings are valid especially when you believe that they aren’t. It’s painful, that holding on & letting go. Holding on always keeps me stuck. Letting go always sets me free. I love you. I love me. I love us. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #truthteller #holdingon #lettinggo #disturbtheuniverse #wecandohardthings #bebravebeyou #lovewarrior #findingmyvoice #chooseyou #choosejoy

Even in the burning and the scorching, I am completely certain with with every ounce of my being that I will rise again. That’s what badass warriors do. Right?! I love you. I love me. I love us. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #truthteller #feelingtheburn #iwillrise #weareokay #badass #warriors #invisibleillness #chronicillnesswarrior #keeprising #trigeminalneuralgia #anesthesiadolorosa #glossopharyngealneuralgia #anorexiarecovery #sober #tothineownselfbetrue #depression #anxietywarrior #ptsd #bebravebeyou #findingmyvoice

Zero things in history of ever could keep me from a 4th grade Valentine party with my most favorite girl! Every part of her brings out the joy in me...These are the best moments of our lives. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #thatsmygirl #minime #ihearther #choosejoy #humansofjoy #valentineparty #happinessis
#showingup #forthelove #thebestdays #heartbeats #graceupongrace #iloveus

Coffee is magic. And saying f💙ck clears the throat chakras. Sometimes. These days I’ve run out of f😐cks. I’ve been posting without saying much at all. I’ve been hurting a great deal. My physical pain is off the charts. And along with that comes immense emotional & mental pain. When I feel down with the physical pain(I’m in the ICU w the physical) it lowers my defenses against the others. That’s truth. I’m in the waiting room. I have my date set for the end of March for the consult. And then I will wait again for the surgery date. Please don’t misunderstand me. I feel great joy about this God Wink in my life. I see the gifts in my crisis. And yet, I’m also in ridiculous pain in the waiting. It’s hard for me to write when I’m struggling so much. My thoughts are messy. And “the during” is very messy. My laundry basket is my nesting place. And I’m just being still. I’m finding joy and my pain is still winning. I look ahead & I am grateful for where I am headed. It’s hard for people to understand the waiting is so very hard. I’m still in the business of living w such horrendous physical pain & to hope my way through it while I am in the waiting room. The waiting room is hard. I imagine us all there together. In my laundry basket. Dropping f-bombs when necessary. Please bring a lot. Being where I am does not mean choosing joy & having hope does not exist. It means that I am suffering & I am hurting. They exists together. The waiting room is a very difficult place to be. I will wait til the end of March. And then wait again for surgery. In the meantime, I am writing Ellen. While I’m out there, I think we should meet. Maybe she’d like to dance with me & Meredith & Christina. Maybe bring more awareness to #trigeminalneuralgia & #anesthesiadolorosa & #glossopharyngealneuralgia. Maybe. Maybe she’d give me a new laundry basket. It’s something to dream about in the waiting room. In the moments when I am being still. In my time in the laundry basket when I think that I just can’t keep doing it. When I drop f-bombs AND look forward w hope. We can do hard things. I’m doing them. I know you are too. I love you. I love me. I love us. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #waitingroom

Yesterday once my 14 y/o ginger baby walked in from school with my 9 y/o daughter, he asked if I heard there was another shooting. I had no clue because I was apparently way out of the loop all day. My daughter was wide-eyed, “but they just had one at Marshall?” And he went on about kids being killed. And I had not a clue what to do. And how could I ask to speak privately with my son when no school (elementary, middle, high school, college) is out of harm’s way. He was outraged. And sick to his stomach. And said those dreadful words- “No schools are safe anymore. We ALL do the drills. This is our normal.” And it made me sick too. He’s not wrong. This is my kid’s normal. This is all of our kid’s normal. .
It’s not just about our kids learning ways to be safe at school. It’s not just about teachers learning how to protect our precious cargo or taking a bullet for them. Eighteen shootings at schools in 2018. It is time for policy & change. Enough is enough.
It is scary to send my kids to school. And that’s such a hard thing to say. It is even worse that my son feels the ways he does at 14- “This is our normal.” .
As we talked, my daughter wrote these words. They are learning and practicing cursive. She doesn’t understand the politics. She does get the “learn to love” thing. The why are people so angry. Why aren’t people stepping in and loving these angry people more? Why aren’t we noticing them before it’s too late?
My heart breaks for yet another school and it’s victims and survivors. Prayers are great. Should we come up with better ones or maybe make some changes? #Joywarrior #timeforchange #enoughisenough #learntolove #ourkidsnormal #endgunviolence #schoolshootings

I’m doing field work. Research. It’s true. (Not with my cats😐). But it could be true for children also. At times 🤔 #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #catsagram #catsrule #catskills #youknowit #andyet #ilovemycats #mindoftheirown #incharge

It is What if Wednesday! ⠀
Happy Valentines ❤️sending you🙏warm wishes to those in a relationship or single💕.⠀
What if you chose to forgive people in your life especially those that you have deep relationships with and free yourself from suffering? ⠀
Read my guest post on @wrightwellnesscenter blog ⠀
The Only Practice You Need in Every Relationship: Ho’oponopono the link is in my profile.⠀
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#embracinglife #choosejoy #forgivenesswork #stresslesslivemore #intentionalliving #forgiving #soulwork #joywarrior #hooponopono💚🌿😉🎯👀 #reikimaster #beyourbestself #sobermom #soberwriter #bedeeplyrooted #doitfortheprocess
#selfworth #positivity #spiritjunkie #selflove #loveyourself #selfcare #relievesuffering #positivevibes #purpose #beyourself #behappy #embracinglifenow #freedom #happiness #mindfulness

Twenty five Valentine’s together (includes dating, engagement, marriage). He still carries me like this sometimes just to make the kids crack up. And maybe to prove he still can. He’s got his hands full. He’s not my better half. He’s my person. Ours has been a love story. Our life has been hard. The love has always come easy. He will always be my Schmoopy and vice versa. And damnit I wish I still had those Birkenstocks circa 1994. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #hesmyvalentine #ihearthim #iloveus #thisus #quarterofacentury #hesmyperson

Here is our final video in ten Steps to the Most Okayish Face EVER! Step Ten: Finishing! Watch all ten videos, and then stay tuned for lots more amazing content! Link in bio! #828isgreat #joywarrior #beautyslinger #hopedealer #howtobeauty #settingspray #makeuptutorial #makeup #urbandecay #youtube #itsbiggerthanmakingafacepretty #findwhatyoulove #momswhowork #mom #momlife #liveoutloud #cutefamily

Love your SELF. It is not a selfish thing...it is a necessary thing. I love you. I LOVE ME. I love us. I really do. #Joywarrior #andsoichoosejoy #thisonelife #truthteller #lovelettertomyself #loveyourself #selflove #sacredspace #choosejoy #chooseyou #chooseyourstory #badass #warrior #youareloved #beloved #graceupongrace #iloveus

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