I've been quiet doing just this. Starting in Nov. of 2013, I began the process of fixing my smile. I had chosen to finally get veneers on 7 of my front top teeth. I had a dead tooth that forever made me feel ashamed of my smile. And I had so much to be smiling about- almost my first full year of recovery was coming up. Choosing joy was in my bones. Life was good-ish.
Many mistakes were made. Nerves were left exposed. Five months past w agony & my dentist making me feel like a pain in the ass. A 2nd opinion revealing finally that things were horribly f😩cked. Second opinion had to file down & remove Dr. KillJoy's work. It was an excruciating process. Five hour appointments. The whole ordeal lasted almost 9 months. Finally a beautiful smile. One month later, I was diagnosed w #trigeminalneuralgia & the most severe pain I had ever known. That was Sept. 2014. In Feb. 2015, I was having my first brain surgery.
I made up my mind that I would never ever never go to the dentist again. I couldn't. I wouldn't.
Last week, I started having severe pain in 1 of my top molars on my feeling side. And as I raised my hand for help, I was terrified. I had also been up for several nights & was drowning in fbombs.
Three years out of a dental chair, I no longer had a dentist. And I had zero clue where to begin. Fear makes things feel so much worse. And the thought of anyone touching my mouth at all made me sick. I don't think I've even written to you that I cannot even bear kissing my hubby anymore. Looming over me was fear. Filling up all of the extra spaces in my body was fear.
Enter my mother-in-love. A.K.A- Mommy, in-case-of-emergency, my person. You get it. Father-in-love insisted his dentist was our go-to. He was exactly right. And @mama2macnmav had sent Angels.
Fear has always, all ways, trumped all of the things. And yet, joy & God & Angels & in-loves & 3 ladies in a dentist office trumped fear. And yesterday, I had surgery to remove a tooth. I'm sleeping a lot w meds bc it's too much pain to be awake for. My mouth & God's masterpiece are not in alignment. No tooth fairy came. Most importantly, 3 years later, I trumped fear. I did it anyway. #Joywarrior