Well guys, I have a fertility update, and I wish I had better news. We started the first round of IVF on August 28. Although there was never a guarantee, we were fairly confident it would work. The plan was to retrieve my eggs, fertilize them, and then have frozen embryos to use when we were ready. But my body didn't respond. My ovaries couldn't hear the message the follicle-stimulating drugs were sending. The follicles have to grow to a certain size before they can be retrieved, and mine weren't growing. So we stopped. Our first IVF cycle cancelled. Spirits crushed and thousands gone with nothing to show for it.
We took a break, and while still being monitored, saw that there had been unexpected follicle growth. Solomon, our fertility doctor, and I were hopeful about this new growth. We thought if we started IVF injections again, we could take advantage of that growth and get more, since the goal was still egg retrieval. So we started a second IVF cycle on October 5th. After 8 more days of injections, there was no new growth. I could see the disappointment all over my doctor's face. I left, and sat in my car sobbing, feeling helpless and angry. Our second IVF cycle has been cancelled, and we're left wondering if fertility treatments will ever work for us.
This is such a hard journey y'all, full of so much uncertainty. Solomon and I are devastated that we're in this situation, and that there's a chance we may never have children of our own.
At this point we're taking another break from fertility treatments for awhile. I'm going to take some time to try to get my immune system in a better state, with the hope that doing so will improve my fertility.
I'm also trying to find a balance between being optimistic and realistic. I've always struggled with a fear of the unknown, and not knowing if this will ever happen for us kills me.
But, this fight is not over, we have not given up hope, and we will continue to do what we can to better our chances. Thank you all for caring and following this journey. The comments and messages I've received have been so loving and encouraging. I am so grateful. If and when there are any new developments, I'll let you know. ❤️