I've been living as an anxiety ridden person for years, without really knowing what exactly it was.
Certain triggers this year led to a break down, and I became a dysfunctional human, struggling to work, eat or sleep, laugh or play.
3 months ago, I decided to seek help, and was diagnosed with anxiety. I have been on medication for it ever since. And boy, accepting that this is a part of my life has been quite difficult!
A month after being on the meds, I broke down in front of a friend, finally opening up about my anxieties of being an anxious being:
A 28 year old, who should be 'healthy' and 'happy' but instead is dependent on medication to help her function, remain calm, and fall asleep. I was ashamed that I was not 'strong enough' to overcome certain obstacles, or that on some days the tiniest things would faze me. I hated myself for not being able to handle things better. Angry at the chemical make up of my body, that wasn't producing the right amount of chemicals for me to function 'normally'.
Over time though, I've been able to change my narrative and tweaked my life to accommodate this newfound but old time friend.
1. It is okay to have a bad day or two. Or many. On those days allow yourself to curl up in bed.
2. Slow the fuck down. The loud traffic, the crowded spaces, the stress of work. They suck the energy right out. Slow down.
3. Take a break from those close to you. Those who truly value you and love you will be there once you return. (Well, I live in the hope they do)
4. Break life into bits and pieces. Long terms goals and plans can be overwhelming and intimidating. One event at a time. Smaller goals could be more easily attainable.
5. Surround yourself with good people, who inspire and motivate you.
6. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed about the reality of the situation. Embrace the illness, embrace the 'abnormal'
7. Get sunlight. Practice a sport or yoga. Eat to fill your stomach as your soul. Treat yourself. Give in to what you're craving.
8. Pat yourself on the back. Praise yourself for doing whatever you could do on that day. Be proud of yourself.
Live with your truth, my love. Live with your light, my love