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#itsOKnottobeOK

MOST RECENT

Tonight's run was a quick and long one! BUT silly me forgot that the app doesn't track GPS without cellular data so it didn't log the route or average minutes per km😭 but it still counts 💪👍 so 6km in 39 minutes = 6.50 minute kms which I'm pretty chuffed with 😀 so all good. Also I love it when I'm all on green 🎉💪.
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More @toughmudder training to raise money for @rethinkmentalillness💪💜 CLICK THE LINK IN MY BIO TO DONATE #itsoktotalk #Rethink #mentalhealth #mentalillness #itsoknottobeok #timetotalk #goodcause #donate #fundraising #toughmudder #health #muddy #exercise #bodymagic #muddernation #fitness #toughmuddertraining #running #runner #runrunrun #fitbit #run

12 weeks 4 days! In the mornings before I pee I have a nice solid little curve across my belly. Not so much after I go to the toilet though.
The last few days have been hell. My mind has been racing, I'm feeling a lot of guilt about how I'm feeling and I'm not feeling very good about myself or what I can contribute to anyone at the moment. The little vouce you get sometimes has been taunting me. And have almost been non stop crying for the past 2 days.
I want to be excited and living back my normal life. 7 weeks unwell has definitely taken it's toll on me and I'm really struggling now.
3 things I have to make it through...1 my lil tiny baby belly first thing in the morning. 2. My baby's heartbeat working hard. 3. The support from my family and friends as well as random ladies from a pregnancy page yesterday was amazing. It feels good to know I can go to these people and say "you know what I'm not doing so good" and feel comfortable about it.
I'm hoping for a better day today. One with no tears! #pregnant #pregnancyblues #morningsickness #babybump #itsoknottobeok #askforhelp #feelingguilty #pregnancy #12weeks

Social anxiety mixed with a dash of claustrophobia
We recently went on a little shopping trip to Ikea. I have to say I have been very impressed with all my Ikea purchases to date. They have all been good quality and good prices. Now I’m definitely not known for my love of shopping, in fact I have to say it is probably one of my biggest dreads in life. Stepping out in to public, fear of bumping in to people, having to interact with society, busy places and so on. I find it a very draining. Ikea however seems to add another level of anxiety to the experience. Claustrophobia. I don’t know about you but it feels like a maze in that place and the fear of not being able to escape if I had to, triggers almost a switch in me. It’s like someone has taken the battery out of me. I become like I’m on autopilot and that the life has been sucked out of me. Takes a good couple days to recover from an Ikea trip. I wish I didn’t have these struggles. I see lots of people enjoying family trips to Ikea but for someone like me it becomes an event in itself that I have to mentally prepare for
#anxiety #socialanxiety #claustrophic #claustrophobia #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #awareness #shopping #ikea #raisingawareness #itsoknottobeok #selflove

Scary stats in relation to #suicide . Some of what was presented in Wexford today as part of a #MentalHealth & #Wellbeing workshop delivered by Upstream... Let's get the conversation started, #ItsOkNotToBeOk

Enjoyed wintertime, snow and fresh air this past weekend. Got myself up and out of the house for a lone walk through snowy stuttgart. The weather has been too beautiful to stay inside.
Walking in the park helped easing my mind after having build up thoughts made of troubles, overthinking and anxiety for too long. For me taking a walk is sometimes one the simplest ways to clear my mind and reduce my anxiety. Well it is as long as agoraphobia and/or depression doesn't make me think of my home as the safest place to stay in.
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#0711 #wintertime #winterwonderland #snow #snowday #sunshine #walkinginthepark #promenade #strolling #easemymind #clearingmymind #troubles #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthawarness #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalillness #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #depressions #anxietydisorder #panicdisorder #endthestigma #stillnotacoward #notjustsad #itsoktotalk #itsoknottobeok #latergram #photography

In my last post I said I would post the outcome of the letter in fearne cottons book ‘happy the journal’ but I couldn’t quite bring myself to - til now! I should be proud of being able to compliment myself and talk to myself in a loving way, not embarrassed! I highly recommend writing a love letter to yourself like this, it was a really lovely experience! ☺️❤️

Breathe your life into me
Because I drown in your shadow
Like salt in the rain
If my fear is tomorrow
Your memory's the fight in my veins
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Thank you for capturing this moment @shadowartphotograph ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#parkwaydrive #deathless #melodichardcore #hardcore #metalcore #shooting #alternativegirl #alternativemodel #metalgirl #labret #septum #piercing #piercedgirl #girlwithtattooes #vegan #itsoknottobeok #hopefortheday #amsterdam #2minds1heart #loveiswar  #drmartensstyle #streetstyle #thorshammer #impericonlook #emp #schwarzweiß #blackandwhite #BlackIsMyHappyColour

I had to think twice before putting this up, but here it is. We’ve had one of those days where it’s felt like an uphill struggle. When I went to put Joey in his car seat to go to music class this morning, he started crying and throwing himself forward - I physically couldn’t get him strapped in it. We were also meant to be meeting a friend afterwards, so those plans went out the window and JB’s screaming continued once we got back inside. I felt like a failure. I didn’t want my husband to come home, but he did. And although I was grateful to be temporarily ‘rescued’, it didn’t make me feel any better. Instead it made me think, surely I should be able to handle this by now? Surely I shouldn’t need any help? But perhaps that’s my problem. I don’t like ‘needing’ help and I don’t like showing weakness. So that’s exactly why I’m putting this photo up. Not for sympathy, but to prove to myself that it’s okay to show weakness and it’s okay to not be okay.
#honestparenting #reallife #itsoknottobeok #askforhelp #weaknessestostrengths #mumlife #toddlerlife #oneofthosedays #mumblog #mumblogger #pnd #anxiety #masterofmumxiety #ukparentbloggers #mummylife #motherhoodrising #instamum #noonesperfect #mamatribe

I’m so exhausted,
After a massive,
Start to my year,
.
I feel like winter,
Has arrived for me,
I need to retreat,
.
And what’s wonderful,
Is I’m ok with that,
Because I know,
.
It may only be a day,
It may be a week,
But it won’t be forever,
.
And it will rejuvenate me,
My exhaustion,
Will be transferred,
.
Into energy,
Creativity,
And life! .
Are you listening,
To what you need? .
It is the single,
Most powerful thing,
You can do! .
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Don’t forget to book your spot at DIVINITY this month! Follow the link (in my bio)!! .
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#mentalmumma #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #exhaustion #selfcare #selflove #selfcaretools #listen #mumlife #motherhood #parenthood #mumof4 #twinmum #itsoknottobeok #liveyourbestlife #divinity #womenscircles #rest

When we think of breaking through the layers we think of them getting less and less until we reach the core but actually when we start delving deeper we realise the layers only become more and more. That kind of represents my counselling session today. It was really powerful and has revealed quite a few roads that I think I need to drive along at some point. I’m not sure if I’m fully ready to start that drive on some of them but the fact that I can now see them can only be a good thing. I am becoming so aware of some of my vulnerabilities which lead me to make some of the choices I make or act in certain ways. It’s amazing that I’ve managed to get through my life without this kind of self reflection thus far. Like I said on Friday I am actually enjoying this self discovery which feels so morbid to say given the circumstances! Isn’t it crazy to think we do things without actually knowing why we do them and that we aren’t actually honest with ourselves so much of the time. I’ve found some of the things I’ve realised today actually quite frightening. Life has a way of engulfing us so that we get swept up in it all and forget to take some time to step back and to review things. Take that moment now and be honest with yourself ❤️ #honesty #selfcare #mentalhealth #counselling #talkingtherapy #itsoknottobeok

✨Motivating M💛ndays✨
This🙌 is EVERYTHING! I feeling more like myself each day! My hair is growing back(obviously 🤣), the “chemo fog” has FINALLY lifted and I can think clearer... now it’s time to get back into my routines! Some days it’s not as easy as others to get motivated but something for me that works is hitting the gym. I actually enjoy working out, it gives me focus and I just feel after! It gets me pumped 💪🏻 lol .. What motivates you to get going?? 👇
#gogetyours #goals #motivation #summerscoming .
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😘 Spread positivity it's contagious
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#inspire #inspiresomeone #thiswontstopme #notalone #itsoknottobeok #love #strength #inspiredstyleboutique #kcboutique #mondaymotivation #workhard #❤️#cancersurvivor #girlboss #lsboutique #shopkc #shopsmall #shoplocal #stylecollectivesisters

Sometimes..... You can't see straight .
You sit in darkness 🌑 waiting for so long for dawn to break.

Sometimes it doesn't get better🤞, sometimes it just gets worse 🙍. Sometimes you're so tired you wonder if you can take even one step forward 👣. Sometimes.... We sit in shadows,

But can't find the sun🌅. We look at ourselves,

Don't know just who've become,

But we know it's not 🙅‍♂️, Who we want to be.

Sometimes.... It all goes down in flames 🔥, We crash,

Try & crawl up,

Will we ever,

Reach the top ↕️? And that's ok.

It's ok to hurt 🤕. To cry.

To bleed.

To give up & give in.

It's ok to fall.
As long as we keep going,
We have made magic ✨, In a world of darkness.

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