Poetry as I travel to join my sisters in honoring an amazing soul.
After every laugh you pause,
Savoring the sound.
Your life has been full of pain, but you're ready to laugh more.
Your heart has been shredded. Yet you still love completely.
You're not a savage at all, they just don't understand you.
You're wild to the unopened soul.
To me, you are the order of the universe.
You fight, you bleed, you observe, you stand back up.
You guard, block, wrap and warm.
I'm sorry if I never told you- I think you're beautiful.
I remember asking God to end my feelings for you.
To break our ties.
It was cold, my poetry shallow and weak.
The pain of my cowardice slipped through the gaps in my teeth.
My smile, never real.
My soul wasn't done loving you.
Perhaps punishment for a past life.
I remember you didn't love me either.
Sex was a battle of power and deceit.
We deserved each other in those brutal moments.
And today I picture you as I am warmed by Spring.
You're the last I know of a man.
So I use that as an anchor into love.
You or something better.
Did I fail some test?
It was if I started to fall so I clenched and held my breath.
I did end up falling, but when I opened my eyes, only an outline of you remained.
Burned into my eyelids.
I can barely smell you anymore.
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