Do You Choose For You?
What if we all did that, instead of hoping someone will read our mind or pick up on a hint we dropped?
Or we use up all our energy doing for others what we think they want from us.
What if choosing for you allows you to replenish your energy and you can then contribute in a sustainable way?
Read on if you'd like to play with this, here are 3 ways to get started choosing for you.
1. Practice choosing for you - try out a choice, like you are moving a chess piece but not letting it go yet... is that really YOUR choice? How does it look from that vantage point? Does it sound like someone else you know, like a parent or longtime friend? Is it what you're "supposed" to choose? If so, return all that to sender and try again, what would you like to choose for YOU?! 2. Just for you, just got fun, no need to tell anyone. Test out a choice for you knowing you won't run and share the experience with someone else. If you're not expecting any feedback or exterior validation will your choice be different?
3. What type of example are you setting? If you're not choosing for you, no one else will. They might get lucky with a guess, but it's not something you can rely on. Some parents say their children come first. What are you demonstrating for your children? To be martyrs? To put everyone else first? To rely on others to try and satisfy them? What if you choosing for you was an example to your children so they learn to choose for themselves too? If you are putting them first, they learn to put others first also. If you put you first, they learn to put themselves first.
If you don't have little ones to demonstrate for, really anyone counts. We teach people every moment how we would like to be treated. One of my clients values loyalty and would remain loyal to friends no matter how they treated her, thinking this would return their loyalty to her. In actuality, if she would like loyalty from others, demonstrating it to herself, choosing for her, being loyal to herself will teach others how to treat her and attract those who will.
And how much of a contribution to each other and the planet can we all be if we know our needs are met because we're