After my success. I was odd for me to experience being popular among friends. I had random people walking up to me introducing themselves to me. Things like that deviated me from my daily self focus. I would mix the difference between friends and fans. Most of my friends turn into fans too. I sure didn't knew how to handle such things. I took advantage of those things instead of ignoring that or making profit of that I used that to fill my ego as if they were being attracted to me as a person. Those people were never there when I was busting my ass off alone for a whole school year. They were attracted to my dominance which means they were level below me. If i spent most of my attention on things like that again I would live down from my successes. I did live down from my successes. It was acceptable for me to behave whatever way I wanted to because I was the alpha. After my competence went away I found my self acting weird. I felt my fake facade. I saw my self playing nice guy, wanting to make people laugh, or going out of my self to reach other things. The way i reached my competence was the total opposite, reaching deep inside. That's is when the world opens up to you, that's when things reach for you. I made those mistakes while I was collecting my dominance. Instead of maintaining high value among others, I dumb down my self to bridge the gap between me and people. I was doing that for connecting or buy people's friendship and to not remain in my status in their eyes because it wasn't willing to face what ever obstacles such status can attract. It was my reality perception. I portrait the world as a fixed point. I wanted to work for things only ones and remain gaining from it, but that's the motive of a tyrant. Tyrants want stable power, tyrant wants to take. The way to succeed is to understand is a journey uphill and ones reached each check points you must admit to yourself and admit the world through your body the level you're at. That will only make you more successful because it gives no other option but to grow more competent.
#intp #intpfemale #intj #intjfemale #intpproblems #existentialism #12rulesforlife #friends #goals #success