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@todayshow #todayshow #rainbowbaby #infantloss #ailajane #keziaelisabeth

Our hearts are SO full!!! These precious NICU nurses took care of our surviving triplet Peyton and our son, Parker in 2013. They loved our son and are some of the few people who met him during his two months of life. Every year on the anniversary of Parker's death, we visit our local hospital and make a donation. We were thrilled to donate hundreds of children's books, leggings for moms, preemie hats and special care packages for NICU families. We teamed up with @mamabdesigns to gift each baby a special "Miracle" onesie. Peyton loves to see her friends and had a blast strolling the familiar halls, even stopping to check out our special tribute to our triplets on the memorial wall. We love to give back and honor our children, all while providing a little comfort to families who may need it. Swipe for pics. And a huge thanks to @mamabdesigns for so generously working with us to make these care packages so special--love their shirts and the message they send!!! #nicu #nicugrad #premature #preemie #micropreemie #22weeker #childloss #infantloss #nicutonow #nicunurse #survivingtriplet #triplets #givingback #nonprofit #charity #tripleheartfoundation #mamabdesigns

We celebrated this tiny SHINE today! Seven years ago, our rainbow baby {a baby after miscarriage} surprised us by speeding into this world 3 months early. With a 20% chance of survival and a heck of a journey in the NICU, several diagnoses, a scary surgery, specialists here and there, and a GOD THAT'S BIGGER THAN IT ALL, this little munchkin turned 7 years old today. From clinging to our chests in that hospital room, to kisses on our cheek over the dinner table tonight, this girl has absolutely rocked. my. world. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of this amazing "little" girl. 💕🎂

I sit in our nursery a lot. It's been a room that as been off limits to the world the last year as I have kept the few treasures that were Shylah's to myself. When guests come over I would rarely let them in that room and if they did go in my chest was on fire. The transformation from girl room to boy room has been hard, but I've kept some things the same..Hand-me-downs.
I haven't been able to move any of her clothes, though I know there will be a day I box them up and label them to be opened when I want to hold her things to my aching chest.

I sit in my rocker; the one that I have rocked all my babies in and I dream, cry, and hope. As I sit in here today missing my girl and feeling my son move, I feel grateful for these past 22 months of getting to love my babies. Grateful for those that have comforted me, even from a far. Grateful for a husband that has carried me through such deep waters and given me all the grace to just be. And grateful for a God that constantly reminds me that He is faithful and loves me- because that's who He is.
In time I may share more of the nursery, but for now this is a small snapshot. His and hers.

#mamagrief #infantloss #rainbowbaby #hopeafterloss #babynumber2 #belvintribe

It's the middle of the night and I'm wide awake, as per usual. I'm thinking about my sweet little boy and how he'd be 21 months old this week. Sometimes it feels like the years are flying by so fast, while other times it feels like it's been a decade since he's squeezed my finger in his strong little hand. I love this boy with my whole heart, to the ends of the universe and back, and more than all the Peanut Butter M&Ms.
Max is a special soul. His spirit still lives, loves, teaches and protects. I feel him near when I need him, and know he's on the Lord's errand when he's absent. While I miss him in an indescribable way, I'm so incredibly grateful for who he is and the mission he serves. Those who have been touched and taught by him can understand what I mean.

#infantloss #infantlosssupport #mybabyhaswings #myangel #angelbaby #guardianangel #heaven #babyboy #mybaby #loss #childloss #utahshare #proudmom #proudmommy #faith

Still inside. 28 days to go. Tired as hell today. Dog ate my brownie while I got the post and now I'm laying on my bed trying to remind myself that four weeks isn't really that long at all. I just want to have her out and show her off, etc. & Sometimes I hate the way the English are so reserved. It causes nonstop problems.
#pregnancyafterloss #lifeafterloss #rainbowbaby #sidsawareness #pregnancy #pregnant #pregnantlife #infantloss #babyloss #miscarriage #inspirepregnancy #motherhood #mumblogger #momblogger #pregnancyblogger #londonblogger #londondoula #doula #3rdtrimester #ninemonthspregnant #9monthspregnant #35weekspregnant

If you'd like a (tasty) way to honor Phoebe today for her 2nd birthday, have a #RootbeerFloat which was Stacy's huge craving while pregnant with her. Thanks for thinking of her. #PregnancyLoss #InfantLoss #Stillborn

"At 12 weeks [pregnant] we learned that we were having a son and that he likely had Down Syndrome. We were overwhelmed by fear of the unknown and sadness for what we thought would be a difficult life for our son. As we waited for additional scans to confirm whether or not he did have DS, we felt that we were living in a sort of in-between place. We didn’t know whether to hope for and expect a “normal” child, or if we should start preparing for a new normal we had never asked for. Around 20 weeks, we got that confirmation – our son, Max, had Down Syndrome.
Then, at 30 weeks, after a 3D ultrasound, we learned that he had fluid in his abdomen and severe swelling on his neck and face, a condition called hydrops. Our doctors were extremely hopeful that Max’s issues would be easily treatable after what would likely be an early birth.
Maxwell Spencer Martin was born at 4:14 pm and went home to be with Jesus moments later. Our sweet boy never took a breath on his own. I listened to the team of doctors try desperately to resuscitate my son. While deep grief and overwhelming sadness followed, my initial reaction upon realizing that my son would die, was strangely peaceful, a sweet gift from the Lord on my darkest day.
Max taught us more about love, perseverance, and acceptance in his 8 months than I had learned in my entire 27 years before him. And as difficult and painful as this road is, I am thankful for the woman I have become because of my children. I am thankful for the way my marriage has grown deep roots through these storms. I am thankful that I can stand firmly on the truth of God’s goodness despite my circumstances. And I am thankful that I get to call myself Max’s mom."


Speciale persoonlijke kussens €14,95 #kussen #infantloss #geboorte #doop #indevlindertuin

Some days as a stay at home parent are really tough. Progress makes me happy and it can be so frustrating on days when I feel like I haven't accomplished anything I set out to do. The house is a mess and the list of chores is only getting longer. Just five minutes, I'd think. Let me be for five minutes and I can tick something off my mental to do list.
It's so simple to forget, when current challenges cloud my mind, where I've come from and how badly I wanted to be in this kind of chaos just a short time ago. This time just 6 years ago we were wondering why we weren't pregnant yet. 5 years ago we were starting the IVF process. 4 years ago I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter Jadzia - full of hope. 3 years ago 5 months pregnant with our rainbow baby Katara - full of fear and unknowing. 2 years ago planning further treatments. 1 year ago heavily pregnant with twins.
I wanted these children so badly. I prayed for them all day everyday. I was so envious of mums experiencing then the chaos I'm experiencing now. And yet I forget.
I forget what I have accomplished - praying and believing nonstop until it came to pass. A smile from my baby as they look mum in the eye. A hug as they cling to my side. A laugh as they enjoy life. A cry if I walk out of view. Three happy, healthy, fed and clothed children.
Never forget mumma they are your greatest accomplishment.
What a blessing to be by their side every day and to see them learn and grow.

#futuregeneration #blessedbeyondmeasure #thankfulgratefulblessed

I am so happy this came today. It's from the KEEP collective. This is my new favorite bracelet and I get to KEEP this as a special reminder in memory of Reece. #reecemodz #reecemodzelewski #keepcollective #mylittleangel #upinheaven #forevermybaby #R #8312016
#love #lossofachild #infantloss #mybaby

Sleeping babies are hands down the best thing in the world! 😍 I love sitting and watching Ashlee sleep, (creeper I know! 😉 but doesn't every mom do it?!) it makes me SO thankful for all of the trials I have been through the last 2 years. Losing a baby is the hardest thing ever, so getting to snuggle Ashlee and watch her grow and learn new things..There isn't anything that I love more! (Besides my husband 😉)
#ashleeelizabeth #babiesofinstagram #sleepingbaby #myworld #infantloss #makynzeekae #creepermomstatus #everyonedoesit #ilovemyfamily #gratefulformytrials #rough2years #minkycouture

Even though it has almost been 11 years since she died, I still have moments that I just miss her so much. A mother's love has no end. #infantloss #pregnancyloss #angelmom #forevermysweetpea #stillamom #stillstanding #bravemom #cdhangel #chdangel #hlhs #cdh #chd

So tonight we are completely shifting gears from weddings to what we like to call "passion projects." Many times our lives get so wrapped up in our work, and focusing on our "self" that we forget to think about others and the impact we can have on the world. We have been working really hard over the past 5 years building and strengthening some pretty amazing relationships with fellow creatives all over the country, including the ladies from @thebusybeeeventsanddesign. There isn't too much I can say now, but we have some pretty exciting things in the works with @jennamdail and @_secalderon_ Stay tuned for some big announcements and projects coming soon. @thecolorblueandhope ❤️🙌🏼 #community

When I first pulled this shirt out of the drawer, I immediately wanted to tear it to shreds with my bare hands, into as many pieces as I feel my heart has been shattered into. Blessed? F* your blessings ...

I know. Harsh. We all get mad at our parents sometimes, especially when we don't understand them. And right now I am mad at our Father, but that doesn't mean I don't love Him, and I need to remember he still loves me too.

In moments of deep hurt and anger, confusion and disconnection, it has always helped me to count my blessings and find things to be grateful for. And this anguish should be no different. It was through pain and suffering that I found Him, and I know He will help bring me out of this devastation. So, I count my many blessings and give thanks.

I am thankful for Joshua, who has not once left my side during this horror we are living through. Whether we are taking turns being strong for one another, or falling apart together, we are here trying to heal together. His love and support strengthens me.

I am grateful for our families, who came to be with us as soon as we called, who stayed with us through the night and into the next day; who have offered their time, their love, their support, their hearts. I am truly blessed to be surrounded with their love.

I am grateful for my friends, all of you. Those of you who have checked in with me daily to see if we need anything, or just to say you are thinking of us. I am thankful for the prayers, the condolences, the cards, the food, your time, and the outpouring of love I have seen. I am thankful for those of you who have reached out to me with your own stories to share. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

In moments where my heart is hardening against the world, I will remember I am blessed, and I will try to leave my heart open. 💜

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