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Hello March .
You've touched me without even touching me.

96 on left. 97 on right.. #imstillthesame

Out riding Christmas and needed some gas.... Pretty dope to run into one of my favorite people @gippgoodie when I called his name he waved and smiled, when I said it the second time he FELL out laughing LOL All he could say is ain't nothing changed LOL #AintNothingChanged #ImStillTheSame #LittleRoughAtTimes #HeKnewMeSinceIWas13 #HesOneOfTheDopestToEverDoIt

Do over! Since my original post chopped off the head of MJ. :) Another from the archives for TBT! :) found it! #imstillthesame :) #magicjohnson #lakerlove #shethankshecute

My sister @j_dtracy tried to play me with this #picstitch but real is real #evolution #wemadeit #imstillthesame

🌸 this is old. #imstillthesame

#tbt to last summer vibez smokin blunts and jammin #wutang 😙💨💨💨 #aintshitchange #imstillthesame

Things change,people change,feelings change too.
But #ImStillTheSame! #MyWay!


The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself- M.A🌱❣️ #Imstillthesame

And I've been shifting gears all of my life, but I'm still the same underneath.
[this you surely knew]

I’m depressed. And I have tried to cheer myself up, thinking about how I’m going to conquer, and win. But I’m nothing without my God. God is good at bringing you back to Him, when you go astray. I have been so tired of not getting my breakthrough that I tried making my own. Instead of trusting God. Yes, I am a Christian, and I’m not hiding it. There’s a reason why I am attracted to design and fashion world. Because God can use me to reach people. We all need Jesus in our lives. I felt alienated when I kept writing about Jesus and God, because people tend to shut you out once you start mentioning His name. I thought if I stop, maybe I will convince them I am a likeable person. Then I can drop the Jesus bomb on them. But it didn’t work out. I was getting more and more sad, more lonely, more without hope. But now I understood what was wrong. I can take Jesus with me wherever I go. #JesusFreak #WithoutHimWeAreNothing #ILoveYou #ImStillTheSame #TheresNoDifference

Hella Ripped, never would I have expected this. I saw results and didn’t look back. Still ways to go 📸 @luisdaboy #Monday #imstillthesame #Funday #gymlife #Fit #FitLife #Ripped #Shoulders #Arms #FitGoals #Goals #nodaysoff #chuzefitness #Rock #Bulletproof #beast #lion #Gohard

PART TWO. It's hard to share this jaja

I know how it's sounds, it's not like I wasn't able to feel happiness, have fun with my friends, have boyfriends and all the stuff. I was partly happy. But part of me was hollow and dark, I was in pain, I cried a lot. But like I said I had my shared of good stuff :) and that kept me going, my friend, my beloved dog :) things I always cherished.
A couple of years ago, shit just got real. I was unable to do work effectively, my relationship in general started to crumble. I messed up I relationship I really love. I couldn't control the anger, my fears, I was so uncomfortable, I felt miserable sometime. I tried to get better by myself, even my boyfriend helped me but that wasn't enough. That's when I realized It was time to seek for help, professional help. I went to therapy with a psychologist, I couple of months later started my antidepressants treatment.
Then things started to change. I was learning so much, I learned that it wasn't normal to feel the way I felt. I had to end my long-time relationship, I moved from my mom's home. I started to take responsibility for myself, I started to accept myself, I learn that I am capable to do amazing things, I learned to be grateful, to be more open. Not to judge people, that at the same time helped me to not judge myself so hardly I learned to be flexible and accept my spontaneity. I learned to enjoy the little things, like my dog sleeping or how cute freckles looks on someone face. I was learning how to feel joy again. :) I learned that pain isn't always bad...
#breakingstigma #depression #anxiety #imstillthesame #happy #thisismystory #semicolonproject

PART ONE. Don't freak out tho. 😸 I'm fine.

Big news for me this week. 💜 I said bye bye to my antidepressants. I never thought I would be in this position in the first place; I was extremely hard for me to accepted that I needed medication, nothing else was working... My depression pretty started when I was a kid, highschool for me was really tough. I always thought that me feeling sad and alone most of the time was normal. My parents, my family never thought of asking me if something was wrong, they never asked me why I was so shy, irritable o lonely. And I never told anyone about how I was feeling. Now I know my mom noticed something wasn't right, but she didn't want to accept the reality, she didn't want to feel guilty about it, so my parent pretty much ignored the issue. I ignored myself too. Then I started to cut myself.
Years go by and things started to get worst... I was, I am a dreamer, I had big plans for myself, lots of never. Never thought things in life don't go the way you want to and I didn't have a backup plan, I wasn't flexible...Money issues, relationship issues, insecurities, lost opportunities, loneliness, more money family issues. You know, life itself. Most of my plans went to the trash, I had to support my family, I wasn't able to finished a lot of thing, a lot of goals I had.
I wasn't so bad tho, in that time I wasn't miserable. I was able to took some big chances and do thing no one thought I could do, but still, I didn't feel proud of myself. Then the anxiety became my new nemesis. My fears started to grow, I was irritable all the time, I blame life for everything and I didn't want to take responsibility for myself. .
#breakingstigma #depression #anxiety #imstillthesame #mentalhealthawarness #happy #thisismystory #semicolonproject

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