#imnotstrong

MOST RECENT

Ive spent so much time and energy defending my right TO BE! or FEEL! never thought it was important straightening out hear say and gossip unless I knew i would feel the impact and still, if i could absorb it I just bounced along...little did I know it is a water drip effect that has visited me with D-PTSD, Dissociative PTSD, I say visit because I ONLY embrace the DX because it has given the problem a name told me what type of math im workin with so i can start applying the right equation and kick that shit right the fuck up outta here and get back to being my effortless sunshiney self
#mompreneur #trifitlife #mylife #dancer #dancingdrummer #ptsd #stress #anxiety #wellnesscoach #lifecoach #yogini #artistpreneur #isurvivedhomelessness #domesticabuse #emotionalabuse #emotionalimmersiontherapy #chicago #supportlocal #blackhealer #blackyogasuperstar #imnotstrong #blackwomen #mentalhealth #itsoktonotbeok #noantidepressants #wholistichealing #newchapter #joycomethinthemorning #teamjesus #empath

Someone once told me: “If everyone thinks you're strong, then definitely you're one hell of a strong person.” But I am not as strong as you think I am, I am far from it. And I feel like a fraud.
When I think about what my mom went through I can't accept that title.
If you want to know real strength, ask about my mom.
My mom who spent 7 months fighting leukemia with a smile on her face. She's the real super hero in all of this. Because not only was she physically strong enough to cope, she was strong enough to give us hope and faith. She was also mentally and emotionally strong. She wasn't going to give up on herself - she was determined and hopeful.
But I wasn’t.
I wasn’t strong when I saw the lab report and read: Suspect Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
I wasn’t strong when I heard the news from her doctor.
I wasn’t strong when she stayed at the hospital for more than 10 days because she had pneumonia.
I wasn’t strong when I entered the surgery room with her for the endoscopic diagnosis of her chest.
I wasn’t strong watching her go through chemo sessions, blood and platelets transfusions.
I wasn’t strong when I heard the words “Code Blue to the CCU”
I wasn’t strong when I heard the words “your mom passed away”.
I wasn’t strong when I entered the room and sat next to her lifeless body.
I didn't feel strong when I fell into depression and suffered flashbacks and nightmares. I felt weak, I felt like a failure and I certainly didn’t feel strong when I went to see a therapist. Mentally, I don’t think I was strong when I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder
I didn’t feel strong when the guilt came. I don’t feel strong when I cannot sleep or control my nerves during funerals and such familiar situations.
I think about my mom and she is the only definition of strong. When I look at myself? I see an emotional mess who barely managed to get through this in one piece. But I am certainly not strong.

Credits ; @animeroku
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anime ; Tokyo Ghoul Re •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Song ; ? •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• " Don’t Erase Me. " 😭
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Hashtags ; #tokyoghoul #re #haise #kaneki #ken #sasaki #souls #eatingsouls #firstdategonewrong #new #help #imnotstrong #quotes #anime #ships #japanese #sub #dubbed #subbed #dub #whitehair #blackhair •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

She had stars behind each eyelid,
And a galaxy in her soul,
That drew people to her endless heart,
Like the pull of a black hole,
She was made of earth and fire,
Of wishes cast on shooting stars,
She was a brand new solar system,
Unlike the ones they’d known so far,
With constellations ever changing,
No one could memorize her skies,
And they thought the thing for them to do,
Was bring her to their size,
They shrunk the universe within her,
Told her her vast expanse was wrong,
That she should make her life much smaller,
If she wanted to belong,
As they collapsed her world around her,
She felt her inner stars grow cold,
Until her life was far too heavy,
For her once strong arms to hold,
You might wonder how it happened,
But I guess that it makes sense,
Because a life becomes much heavier,
When it’s the universe condensed.

#alone #depression #depressionquotes #him #lonely #lonelygirl #scared #seeme #dontseeme #stars #galaxy #constellations #iwannabelong #toomuch #imnotstrongenough #imnotstrong #heavy #universe #universequotes

Sì forse è solo colpa mia
Così non ci pensi più
Sono molto brava sai a rovinare tutto
Tu sei perfetto non sbagli mai
In tutto ciò che fai

Cit. Melodie "Tutta colpa mia"

#fucktheotherpeople
#newlife #newstile #browneyes #soul #asocialgirl #remember #imnotstrong #fragile #loveyourself #black #hate #books #not #imnotperfect #beautifuldisaster

Press days are rough still & have been now since I jumped a command in the last meet I was in and tweaked something. Yet, we still show up & build.

Khi nào ấm ức là im lặng luôn. Sợ nhất người khác hỏi thăm, không phải không muốn nói, mà là nghẹn ở cổ. Mở miệng nói là nước mắt cũng theo đó tuôn ra :((
#imnotstrong

Back at ABC today with @cuirafael @drjskinner2315 and @betaray.bill 315+8 chains for around 500 at the top because Raffy said I couldn’t. #americanbarbellclub #bestronggetstronger #imnotstrong

i guess I'm a pretty good lair cos i can look happy while im actually not. thats cool 🤘lol #pokerface #newexperience #imnotweak #imnotstrong #ijustdontcare

Wide awake and cannot rest,
Staring at these four walls and blank pages,
Am I going to pass this test?
Lost in the melancholy rhythms and rifts,
I'm missing you again so fucking much,
My stubborn heart doesn't give up easily,
Call me crazy or bonkers; I'm used to it,
Drowning in music that reciprocate my feelings towards you.
#sadpoetry #stubbornheart #imissyouandloveyou #iwishyouwerehere #sadpoetssociety #sad #imissyou #poetry #poetofinstagram #imnotstrong #imissyousomuch #iloveyou #iloveandhateyou

Es 9 de mayo y el sentimiento llega a mi puerta... 😭💔 #ICan? #ImNotStrong #Wednesday #SoSad #CloudyDays

We teamed up with @strengthpunishes and @bc.limited because he is awesome. He and @mrsstrengthpunishes are huge supporters of what we do here at @warriorculture. Little fun fact, we are bigger supporters of them. We are thrilled to be printing and soon enough embroidering for them. Grab one on the Warrior Culture Gear Brand Shop today!
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#theprintshopusa #wcgempire #bc #bclimited #strengthpunishes #mrsstrengthpunishes #imnotstrong #idontpunish
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#Repost @strengthpunishes with @get_repost
・・・
We got a soft launch of the shirts. Hats and all to follow Monday. Link in bio.
#strengthpunishes

🌸"Non ho nessun rimpianto, nessun rimorso.
Soltanto certe volte capita che prima di dormire mi sembra di sentire il tuo ricordo che mi bussa ma io non apriró."🌸 Cit. "Nessun rimpianto" - 883

#fucktheotherpeople
#newlife #newstile #browneyes #soul #asocialgirl #remember #imnotstrong #fragile #loveyourself #black #hate #books #not #imnotperfect #beautifuldisaster

I kinda wanna relapse, I kinda wanna heal
Kinda wanna die, kinda wanna live
Kinda wanna love and kinda wanna forget you ever existed
#depression #tired #cantstandthis #imnotstrong #damn

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