So I wore spectacles for 3 days this week and there were 2 issues that I had to deal with, the first being the physical discomfort. Besides getting used to the weight again, wearing spectacles throughout the day caused a pounding headache right behind my eyes. Fortunately that was an easy fix, I did an eye test and apparently my power has come down! So yes, I’m getting new glasses😁
The second issue, was that I was pretty sure that I was going to be very self-conscious in my glasses, but it turns out... I wasn’t.
Being judged on your physical appearance is something that we as women have grappled with ever since the first caveman picked the cavewoman with nice teeth over her dentally challenged friend.
And while there might have been an evolutionary reason behind that first caveman’s choice, I don’t understand why the same might apply today when you have the opportunity to get to know each other better over wine and tapas.
The truth is, I pay attention to my appearance but I would not consider myself vain.
My mother (as you would, expect😜) had a part to play in this. As a tween, flush with the success of winning an elocution competition, I asked her ‘Amma, do you think I am beautiful?’ And she barely hesitated before responding, ‘No.’
I never asked her again.
In my young adult life I was fully aware of how I presented to other people; let’s be completely honest here, you don’t get a job in broadcasting in Malaysia unless you fit their ridiculous standards of ‘nice, attractive girl’.
But I’m STILL here nearly 2 decades later, and honey, let me tell you... it ain’t because of my looks 😐
I reminded myself this week, that I have learned self-confidence the hard way; by being told point blank that I was ‘too dark to wear pastels’, too ‘tall to be in the performance’, ‘too curvy to make the cut’ and ‘too outspoken to be eligible’.
So, along the way, I made up my own kind of beautiful.
And she laughed too loud, and swore like a sailor, and stood her ground, and was dead-sure in pitch meetings, and wrote what was on her mind, and didn’t suffer fools gladly, and loved who she wanted, often badly, sometimes incorrectly.
And yes, sometimes she wears glasses too❤️