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A little IG therapy going down. Stewing on something I heard his morning on a podcast. #igtherapy

I was getting ready to post about paradoxical intervention when I came across this really wonderful post (thanks @amandatorroni for sharing it) about grief that just stopped me in my tracks.

It talks about expectations in healing from grief and the common saying that time heals all wounds.

But that's not the reality.

“Time softens the impact of the pain, but you are never completely healed…Grief changes who you are at the deepest levels and while you may not forever be in an active mode of grief, you will forever be shaped by the loss you have endured."

So for the love of all that is good in this world please stop telling people "give it time," "you just need time" or any other similar sentiment.

It feels dismissive of the person's feelings after they've lost someone or something important.

Just hear them and validate their feelings because they will forever be impacted by this loss. There's no going back to "normal." But instead learning what the new normal is. 💛💛💛
#therapygirl #therapylife #igtherapy #grief #loss #bereavement #coping #copingskills #latergram #beach #beachlife #visitcalifornia #sandiego #crystalpier #pier #clouds #cloudporn #sunset #inspiration #sayyes #sayyestolife #support #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #thursday #travel #travelingtherapist #tbt

This sunflower is from my friends' backyard. They didn't plant it or even expect it. It grew from the bird seed they have over it. A seed dropped to the ground and flourished in an unexpected way.

Our lives don't always go as planned. Maybe you're feeling out of place or off your life path. But how can you still blossom and flourish like this sunflower? 🌻
#therapygirl #therapylife #igtherapy #dailytherapy #tuesday #tuesdaymotivation #summerofself #selflove #selfcare #flowers #flowerstagram #grow #blossom #sayyes #sayyestolife #nature #bepresent #mindfulness #unexpected #inspiration #resilience #resilient #strength #flourish #sunflower #bloom

Three years ago today I had one of the most amazing experiences. It will forever be one of my top 5 memories.

I was in beautiful Vienna for a short study abroad program. We spent the day at Am Himmel where Freud had his famous "Irma's Injection" dream, which led him to write The Interpretation of Dreams. We had a picnic and wine as we discussed this dream, analyzing it line by line.

My inner psych nerd was in absolute heaven.

I really discovered my passion for learning that day. And the trip as a whole was literally life changing.

When I got back from Vienna, I dropped the PsyD program I was in and moved back to AZ to continue my career and with the hopes of being able to move to Vienna.

My plans have changed since then and that's ok. Because what I really took from those two weeks were such beautiful experiences in letting go of self-consciousness and letting myself be open to new possibilities.

This is where I learned to say yes to life. Which doesn't mean saying yes to everything but looking within and deciding what feels right to you and being able to say no if it doesn't feel right. A no is a yes to something else.

So I'm here to encourage you to look at your situation and decide how you want to say yes to life.
#therapygirl #igtherapy #dailytherapy #existentialism #existentialanalysis #logotherapy #freud #interpretationofdreams #psychnerd #psychology #sayyes #sayyestolife #latergram #travel #travelingtherapist #amhimmel #vienna #wanderlust #learning #sfu #gratitude #memories #austria #monday #mondaymotivation #inspiration

This past week I have been paying more attention to my posture. I know I haven't always had the best posture but in recent months I have really just curled into myself, making myself as small as possible.

I do it when I'm walking, sitting alone, but especially when I'm with other people. It's like if I just make myself small enough then maybe I can go unnoticed. If no one notices you, then you don't have to open up and be vulnerable.

Amy Cuddy has a great TED Talk on body language. And it isn't just about the message we send to others with our body language but also the message we send ourselves. •
She talks about faking it until you become it. And you can start with just tweaking your posture.

Anyway, where I was really going with this post is that much like how we don't give our feelings space with others, we also don't always give ourselves physical space in this world.

What if you came out of your shell (nice tie in with the pic, am I right?) and took up space. Roll your shoulders back, take a big inhale, lift your head up, and make that eye contact with others. Take up that space you deserve and connect with others.

Imagine the confidence you can build from such a small change.
#therapygirl #igtherapy #dailytherapy #saturday #tortoisesofinstagram #tortoise #tortuga #bodylanguage #summerofself #selfcare #selflove #blackandwhitephotography #sayyes #sayyestolife #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #confidence #powerpose #amycuddy #tedtalks

We often hold back in expressing to others how we truly feel. How often have you responded with "Good" or "Fine" when someone asks how you are? It's an automatic response that we don't really put much thought into.

The less we talk about our feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, depression, etc the more that they can fester and grow like mold, contaminating everything around them.

Bring those feelings to light. Give them a name. Put words to your feelings and express them to someone, or at least write them down in a journal.

Take away their power.

I'm always working on practicing what I preach and did this on Monday. I reached out to others and fully and genuinely expressed myself to them. And guess what? The low level anxiety I have had daily for the last few months vanished. It was like a weight lifted from my chest and I could finally breathe again with ease.

You don't have to be alone in this. Give yourself permission to reach out and connect with someone.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
#therapygirl #igtherapy #igersaz #travelingtherapist #latergram #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #thursday #ghosttown #ghostadventures #cloud #suicide #suicideprevention #sayyes #sayyestolife #vulnerability #visitarizona #exploreaz #explore #summerofself #selfcare #selflove #abandoned #abandonedplaces #support #resilience #coping #psychology

What does it mean to be vulnerable? Well we know the opposite of vulnerability is having your guard up, constantly being on alert, and always anticipating the next disappointment. The fact that when we think about what it means to truly be vulnerable we instantly relate it to a negative outcome is just a testament of our fear of being vulnerable. Of course no one wants to be hurt, be miserable or feel the pain of heart break however this life that we are living is about balance. You can't have your guard up and expect to be able to experience the richness of life. You can't numb your emotions to keep yourself from getting hurt and still experience the joy you desire because pain and joy go hand in hand. Society promotes the idea of being a savage as if it is the answer to our problem when in fact it is our problem. We have too many savages and not enough people who are willing to be vulnerable. Many relationships fail because the two individuals stop allowing themselves to be vulnerable with each other. Many parents can't build a good relationship with their kids because they don't know how to be vulnerable with them. In turn we raise kids who have their guard up and don't even know why. A lot of people hold onto their pain and wonder why they can't reach happiness. Some people can't even cry because they are so used to holding their emotions in. I have learned that allowing myself to go through emotions helps me move past them quicker than holding them inside. Allow yourself to be open to all life has to offer. You will be better for doing so.💜💎

I have been thinking a lot about vulnerability, authenticity, and genuine connection with others.

Often we think we can only connect like that with significant others. But what if you opened yourself up to your family and friends? What if you looked deep in their eyes and shared how you feel without fear of rejection?

Imagine all the truly beautiful connections we would have with others then.

Dare yourself to be open and vulnerable. You might be pleasantly surprised.

I'll end with a poem that was recently shared with me about this:

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."
Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this: this great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eye,
That is always saying,
With that sweet moon language,
What every other eye in this world is dying to hear? -- "With That Moon Language" by Hafiz
#therapygirl #igtherapy #dailytherapy #wednesday #wednesdaywisdom #igersaz #travelingtherapist #travel #flagstaff #visitarizona #exploreaz #tree #sky #clouds #connection #authenticity #naturetherapy #genuine #summerofself #selflove #selfcare #open #hafiz #relationships #supportsystem #vulnerability #love #sayyes #sayyestolife #mentalhealth

This place. It holds a lot of meaning for me. It's my safe space that I use in visualizations.

I close my eyes and picture this exact scene. I can still smell the trees, hear the birds in the sky, and feel the same excitement that I had at that moment as I came around the bend to this open grassy area.

It's such a beautiful scene.

I have this picture up in my office and have it on my website (link in bio).

It is also where I had my last full blown anxiety attack. Well not at this spot but later on this hike.

It was one of those anxiety attacks where all the alarms are sounding off in your head and make grasping at logical thoughts difficult. It's one of those where you think your throat must be sealing itself shut because breathing is so difficult that you can only manage to wheeze. And the only sound you hear is the pounding of your heart in your ears, like it is going to jump right out of your chest. Except in this case I could also only hear the buzzing of horse flies that were triggering this episode.

But then I was able to calm. Partly because my logical thoughts finally burst through the wall of anxiety. Partly because the person I was with helped to bring me down.

This was a year ago today. And a lot has changed in that year.

That other person is no longer in my life. And I will likely not get the opportunity to conquer this hike again. So I use this image and memory as my calm place as a reminder of the good with the bad -- that it can be managed and that I can overcome anything.
💪🏽
#therapygirl #igtherapy #travelingtherapist #travel #montana #hiking #hikingadventures #womenwhohike #anxiety #fuckanxiety #sayyes #sayyestolife #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #strength #coping #nature #naturephotography #naturetherapy #latergram #tuesday #inspiration #honesty #vulnerability #authenticity #summerofself #selfcare #selflove

Here's to investing in your Monday!! 😃💪✨💪😃

Repost from @ig_therapy
Positive attitude. Positive mind. Positive life.
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#happymind #happylife #quoteoftheday #therapy #igtherapy

Anyone else love a Sunday? Snuggling, reading & eating - TGIS!! 😃😆💆🏾📚💖

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