Just another body appreciation post. I’m not gonna lie and say things have been chill lately, cus they haven’t. My emotions are all over the place and I can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t. I just stick to being sad and tired or content.
I had an episode recently and it made me realize how badly I need to scream and cry. I’m not sure exactly what’s driven me to this point; maybe school, maybe myself, maybe the awkward situations I’ve been put in with past lovers, maybe the ongoing struggle of getting over what happened 5 months ago, maybe missing my ex.... the list will continue to go on and on until I finally have the big episode I’ve been waiting for.
I feel like a ticking bomb, you know? I just hope I don’t end up doing anything stupid, because this past episode made me leave marks on my skin that I never thought I’d see again (no I didn’t take anything sharp to my body) and the only reason I did it was to calm myself down from causing a scene at my house.
I don’t know man, I’m trying to be sane but most days I don’t even understand that concept. Maybe I really need to go back to therapy, but I’m not sure what else there is to talk about, I probably just have to get put on a mood stabilizer.
Also! Small side note but I do go to my friends and I reach out as much as possible! I might still hold things in and suffer on my own every once in a while, but sometimes I just need to be with my thoughts and myself to get a grip on reality!!!! I am okay. I’m just dealing with a lot right now and I can’t seem to put it all into words that help people understand my viewpoint #venting #bodyposi #bodyappreciation #nsfw #emotions #idunno #sigh #imamess #recovery #imokay #finsta